ME11MOIRS OF PERIOD.VIU. litary in families," which was once very fweet to me when at Kennet, carne into my mind. On Saturday, after the morning family-worfhip, viz. Pinging, reading,_and prayer, having.deter- mined to read in the Old Tellament in the, morning, and in:the New at night, 1 addreffed myfelf to my work for the Sabbath; and, after prayer, did with fbme difficulty fall on a text, viz. Rom. i. Q3..: but I had much of the divine afi'iftance in my flu- dies, and meditating thereon ; fo that my falfe heart, taking oc. cation therefrom to be lifted. up, fent me groaning to the Lord, for help againft it.. On the Lord's day, being the 10th, I had fignal affiftance in every part of the public work ; howbeit I had feen no commen- tary on what I leátured : and I preached with light, life, and zeal, man's heart's fulnefs ofall fin by nature ; and forceftrangers Teemed to be affeóted.. Coming home, I. faw caufe to blefs the Lord, for his return to me in public ordinances ; and went imme- diately unto my clofet, to fecret prayer ; the which, fince that time all along unto this day, hath been my ordinary praátice. After fupper, I fpent the time till the evening-exercife, in me- ditation and prayer, with fpecial ref'pec`t to my not finding on my own heart fuch inlpretfions of my own.vilei;efs as I ought tohave had yet fo much of it I did fee, as obliged me tofay. It isof the Lord's mercies that I am not confurned. Moreover I found caufe of thankfulnefs, that I was in force concern that the devil might not pick up the feed fown. In the eveningexercife I again-found the deceitfulnefs of my heart, fo as it immediately after tent me unto God, groaning under, my mifmanagements. I have frequently oblerved, that as foon as I have begun to com- plain to the Lord of my fpendingmy ftrength in vain, I have been, made to lay my hands on my mouth, confidering how Chrift himfeif fpends more invitations; &c. for nought : and what is vile I, that I fhould bédifcouraged on that account? Many times I have feared, that the pride of my heart, too high thoughts of my own pains, wearinefs, &c. have had a hand in thele com- plaints; and that I have not, as I ought, been purely concerned for the glory of God ; and that the command to preach has not fufficiently f:iti,fied me. I have been helped todpeak to the peo. pie by fimilitudes ; but exa&ing an. account of the fermon from the people, feveral of them told me the earthly part, but quite forgot the heavenly part; which was very wounding to me; fó that I know not how to preach fó as they may be profited. have been made ibmetimes this night to think, what,the Lord means by this fignal heap he gives me, efpecially there two lait Sabbaths, (in refpe& of which 1 have been made to notice the return of the Lord's pretence to me in his work, as at Clack- martian, or in the prefbytery of Stirling, which I feared had been quite gone) fometimes I think, it may be Gód has tome' loft ;fheep to find here, and fometimes I fear, it is only for a tell"- "Irony. Only I delire, to bled;, the Lord who fo helps me, both
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