that God harh rhreatned, and preparedfor the Devil andhis Angels, they are all dueto my wretchedfoul. 0, (faith the foul) had the Devils the Irk$ hopes, and means, andpa_tzeflce that J have enjoyed, for GHght I kz!ow, they would have been better than I am: It IS that which fhames the foul in all h1s forrows, ond maks h1m fay, Had they the Irk$ /vfercy? 0 thofcjiveet Comforts, andthofe preciom Promifes that I have had! How many heavy jOurneys hath the Lord Je[us made to me ?How often bath he k__nock£d at my heart,and faid, Come to me,ye rebellious children; turnye, turn ye,why wz/1ye dze? 0 that Mercy that hat~fo!lowed me fro 111 my h 011 Je to my walk._, and from thence to my clofct; here Mercy hath conferred with me, and there mer<J bath wooed me ;yea, m my mght-tho~<ghts when I awak£d, Mercy k_nee/ed down before me, and be[ought me to reno11nce my b.-d courfes, yet I refufed Mercy, and would needs have mine own wz/1; had the Devzl bm fuch hopcs,andfuch offers of Mercy, that they tmnble now for want of Mercy, they wo11ld (for ought 1 k_ttow ) have given entertainment to it ? and what,do I fee/z.for Mercy ?]hall I tal!{_of Mercy ?What, I Mer– cy i' the !eafl of Gods mercies are too good for me, and the heavieff of G~ds rtag11es"re too little for me? I Juppofc (for fo tS my oprmon)that God cannot do more ~gaznft me than I have juftly defcrved, but beJure, God will not lay more upon me than I am juflly worthy of. Nay fure it is, 1 the Soul cannot bear nor fuffcr fo much as he hath deferved, 1fGod fhould pruceed in rigor with him; therefore it reafons thus: I onely for one fin deferve eternal , condemnation,for the wages ofallfin is death:o being comrmttrd agams1 D~.v~.ne Juffiu,and againft an infinite Majefty; and then whaJ do all thefc my fimtts defcrve, committed and continued in, againft all check! ofConfcience, and Curreflions, and the light ofGods Word? Hell is too good, and ten thoufand he/Is too little to torment jitch a wretch M I am: What, I mercy? I am ajhamed to expefl it; With what heart (I pray yo11) can I beg this Mercy; which I have trodden under my feet ? The Lord hath often wooed me, and when his wounds were bleeding, and his fide goared, and his hideous cries coming into mine ears, My God, my God,why haft thou forfak£n me? then,even then this Chrifl have I Jlighted,and made nothing ofhis Blood; and can this blood ofChriff 4o me now any (ervire ? Indeed I cravegrace, but how do I think.fo receive any? .All the Pillars of the Church can teftifie,how often Grace and Mercy hawbeenoffered and offered, b1tt I have ever refufed; How then can I beg any grace? 0 thisftubbornneJTe and villainy, and this wretchedneJTe of mine! What, I mercy? it is more than I ran expect, I amnot 1vorthy uf any; Oh no, I'"" onely worthy to be caft out for ever, Secondly, the Soul reflcCl:s on Juftice, and now it acknowledgeth the Equity of Gods dealings, be they never fo harfh ; he confetfeth that he is as clay in the hands of the Potter, and the Lord may deal with him as he will: yea, the Soul is driven to an amazement at the Lords patience, and that he hath been pleafed to reprieve him fo long, ~hat God hath not call .h!m o~t of his prefence, a~d fent himdown to hell long ago: It IS the frame of the Spmt wh1ch the poor lamentmg Church had, It is the Lords mercy that we are not confounded,becaufe his tompaffionsfail not. When the Lord·hath humbled Lam. 3 .• 23,' the heart of a Drunkard or Adulterer, he begins thus to think with himfelf, The Lord fawa/1 the evils I committed; and what then ? 0 then the Soul admires-that ever Gods juftice was able to bear with fuch a mon!l:er, and that God did not confound him in his drunkennetfeor burning lu!l:s, and cafl: him down into hell. Oh (faith he) it i~becartfe hts mer~tes fazle no:, that my life and all ha,Je not. failed long ago. Hence it is that the foul Will not mamtam any kmde of murmurmg, or heart-riling againll: the Lords deahngs; or 1fNature and co.rruption will be !l:riving fometimes, and fay, Why are not my prayers anfwered? I /z.now fuch afoul humbled, t~nd I fee fuch afoul comforted and 1vhy nor I M well M he ? then the Soul !l:ifles, and crufheth, and choaks thefe ~vretched ddl:empers, and doth alfo abafe 1tfelfe before the Lord, faying, What if God will not hear my prayers ? What if God wt/1 not pacify my Confcience, ddth the Lord da·me any wrong-' Vzle Hell-hound that I am, I have my[m and my jhame; Wrath if my portion, and !fell" my place, thtther n:ay !go wh:n I will, it is mercy that God thm deals with me. And now the foul clears. God m h1s Julhce, and faith, It u j~<ft with God that all tlk prayers IVhteh come from thu filthy heart ofmine, Jhould ~e abhorred, and that a/! my /4boiris in holy dt~IC! fl!Uuld never be bleJTed; It i; I that havefinned againft chet·kJ ofConfcienc&, "f:4inft ]( hwledge, agamfl: Heaven, and thtrefore tt" J"if that 1jhould carry this horror of heart Wit meto the grave; tt u I that have abufcd Mercy, and therefore it is juft that Fjhoiild g1 wuh a tormenung Confcunce down mto hell: ..And 0 that (if I be in hell) I might have" fptr~ to glJzfy and juffifie thy Name there; andfay, Now I am come down to hell amongft Yd 011 _amne G"retmzres, but the Lord i; righteotu and bleJTed for ever in all hi> doings and ealzngs, and I am J~<ftly condemned; , Thirdly,
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