204 I7ro.29.t5. Matth.6.; o. Iqh. r s.43.Esc 5.44. match. r4.3 I. Mar.8. What it is to live by Fairh,&c. our wifdomeor firength, fo doth faith languifhordecay. So much as the heart flayeth upon the creature, it is by fin with -drawne from the Creator. But my heart is much poyfoned with feife-faflìciercie I fecle my felfeapt to leane upon mine ownedevices, to prefume upon mine owne ftrength, and fo wiAcedly todepart from God. If rneánes be at hand I grow fecure ; forgetting,that further then God doth fend forth his Word, they can doe no- thing. Ifineanes be wanting, I faint, or at leafs, am greatly dillrat ed, not remembrirg that it is all one with God to fave with many as with few, with finall or no meanes as great, If I enjoy the things I would, I thinke much upon the meanes, afcribe little to Gods bleffing : myaffèc}ions doworke more lively on this or that which fell out (as men fpeake) more lucl<ily,then on the bleiling of God,which is all in all. In any matter of weight con- cerning liveli-hood or Elate, I am ready to plod what friends I can make, what meanes be prefent,what likeli- hoodsofgood fucceffe, and here I ref}, notfetking to the Lord, thoughall judgement come from him. But if this or that requilite'(inmy judgement) cannot be obtained, though I be never fodiligent,fceke never fo earnellly,flill I diflrufl and fufpet the event, faying in heart, that it cannot prove well. And when my defire is accompli- fhed, the meanes are Hill in mine eye, I thinke myfelfe indebted to fuchor fuch friends, never able to requite their kindneffe; when the chiefe caufe, upon whom all things depend, is much forgotten, not af£eccionate- ly remembred. In trials I amvery tottering, and like apoore creeple, who leaneth upon his crutches, ,cafily brought to thegrog :nd, when ¡edible helpes are taken away. Carnall delights, covetoufneffe, love of pralle, double diligence about earthly things, and exceffive care : thefe areevill accidents ofthis difeafe.Did wepoffeffe the fpi- rituall comforts oftheWord, theheart could neither co- ver, nor takepleafure in the tranfitory things of this life. Did
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