Cqfes .about Friendjhip. 3· The very <xtrcife of friendly love and i{.indnefl to another is plta[ant : And fa it is to have one to whom we may confidently reveal our fccrets, ro bear part of our burden, and to confirm us in our right apprchenfions, and to cure us of wrong ones. 4 • And it is no fmall benefit of a prefent bofomc friend, to be infiead of all the world to us, that is, of common unprofitable company: For man is a fociable creature, and abhorrc:th utter folitudc. And among the common fort, we !hall meet with fo much evil, and fo little that is truly wife orgood, as will tempt a man to think that he is befi when he is leaf\ converfant with mankind. But a fe– lcChd friend is to us for ufefu1nefs inficad of ·many, without thc:fe common incumbrances and {nares. 5• And it is a great part 1lf the commodity of afaithful friend, to be affilled in the true knowledge of our [elves : To have one that will watch over us, and faithfully tell us of the fin, and danger, and duty, which we cannot eafily fee without help, and which ether men will not faithfully acquaint us w~ ' 11. But yet it is rare to choafe and ufe this friend!hip rightly : And there are many <viis here to be cucfully avoided. The inftances fhall be mentioned anon in the directions, and therefore now paffed by. t8t Q,lel\. 3· lJ,it mttt to have more[uch bofome fritndt than ene? ~eft. 3• An[w. Ufually One only is meetdl : r. Becaufe Love ditfufed is oft weak, and contra<led is more {bang. 2· Becau{i! fecrcts are feldome fafe in the hands of many. 3· Becaufc fuitablc perfons are rare; 4· And though two or three may be fuitable to you, yet perhaps they may be unfuitable among them. felves. And the calamity of their own difparities will redound to you; And their fal!ings out may turn to the bcwraying of your fecrets, or to fame other greater wrong. 2, But yet fornetimes two or three fuch friends maybebetcer than one al.ne. r. In cafe they be all neer and of an approved fuitablencfs and fidelity. 2· In cafe they be all fuitable and endeared to one another. 3. If a man live per vices in fever.al places, and his friends cannot remove with him, he may have one friend in one place, and another in another, and fo many will be but as one that is con– fiant : 4· And in cafe that many may add to our help, oqr counfel and comfort, more than to our danger, hurt or trouble. In all thefe cafes m~ny are better than one. Q!ell. 4· It it fit for him 10 tak! another bpfome frie•d who bath a pious Wife? and i< any otfm fo ~eft.4• fit to be a frit1td, as he andjhe that are a1 onejlefh i ~ An[w. When a Wife hath the under/landing, and V<rtu.e.and fidelity fit for this fort of friend!hip then no one elfe is fo fit, becaufe of neernefs and united .interefls; The fame I fay of a Husband to a Wife. But becaufe that it feldome falls out that there is fuch • fitnefs for this office, efpec;al!y in the Wife, in that cafe it is lawful and meet to choofe a friend that is fit indeed, and to commit thofe fecrets ro him which we commit not to aWife: For fecrets are not to be committed to the untrufiy, nor wife counfel to be expected from the unwife, how neer foevcr. And the great writers about thisfptcial Friend.fhip, do think that no woman is fit for it, but men only; But that con,Jufion is too injurious to that Sex. Q!.cfi. 5· It it agm•hle 10 tbe natureof true frie,djhip 10 Lovt our fritnd not only for himfelf, but !J0•ft· 5· for our own commodity? and "'bether muft hear I he thecbitf rnd of my love and friendjhip ? An[w. J, Indeed in our Love to God, he that is the object is alfo our chief and ultimate end, and we mu(\ Love him morcforHimfelf than for our (elves. And yet here it is lawful fubordinately to in– tend our fclves. 2. And our love to the Cemmon-wealth fhould be greater than our Love to our felvcs, and therefore we may not Love it chitAy for our (elves. , 3• And if our bofeme friend benotorioufly Better than we are, and mort fervictable to God and to the common good, we !hould Love him alfo above our felvtt, and therefore not ,chiefly for our felves. 4• But in cafe of an equality of g6odncfs and ufifNlmfi, we are not bo~nd to Love our mo(\ intimate friend more than our felves; and therefore ma:y at leall equally Love h1m for our [tlveJ, as for himfelf. And if ll't are reaVy and notorio11JTJ better and more ufeful, we may love him ehidly for our fclvtJ, and our [elves above him. But llill we mull love God and the publick Good, above both our [elves and him, and mun Love both our felves and him in order to God, who is the beginning and end of all. ~ell. 6. It it contrary to the nalt<re of true friendjhip 10 ~eep any fecrtt from fuch a bofome friend, !J0eft· 6. or 10 rttain any fujpicion of him, or to fuppo[e tlw he may poffibly provt unfaithful to ut and for· fake ut? An[w. Cicero and the old Doctors of Frien4fhip fay, that all this is inconfifient with true friendfhip: And it is true that it is contrary eo perftll friendjhip. But it is as true, that perfect fricnd!hip canno be, nor muft not be, among imperft.fr men: And that the nature of mankind is fo much depraved, that the beft are unmctt for pcrfeU frimd{hip: And certainly few men, if any in the world, are tit for every f~:crct of our hc:urs. ~des that we are fa bad, that if all our fecret thoughts were known toone another, it might do mffh tO abate our friend!hip, and love to each other. And it is certain that man is fo corrupt a creature, and good men fo imperfe6tly cured of their corruprien, that there is !tlfiOmefs, um:ertainty, and rr.utabilify in the beft. And therefore it is not 1 duty to judgt {aljly of men, but contrarily to judgeof them as they ar~. And therefore to [uppo~e that it is poffib~c the clofcH friend may reveal our fecrets, one time or other}and that the ftt:adtallefi friend may poffibly become our enemy. To think that p0tlible, wbich H poffible (and more, ) is injurious to none. Aaaaaaaa (l!!cll.
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