£t<•fl· 7· R!!fl· s. The ftnfulnefs and IJurt oftoo mudJ Low. Q?cft. 7· 11 it lawfNl tochange a bofDmt friend, and to prefer a new one wbum we perceive to be more worthy before an old om. · An[w. An old friend c.tteriJparibJH is to be preferred before a new one, and is not to be call off without defer< and nccclfiry. But for all that, I· If an old friend prove falfc, or norably unfit; 2 , Or if we meet with another that is far more able~ fit and worthy, no doubt but we may prefer the later; and may value, Love, and ufe men as they are for goodnefs, worth and ufefulnefs. ~efi. 8. What Love Hdue to a Minifltr thJt bath been the means of our Convirfion ? And can {uch a om be loved too much l An[w. f, There is a fpccial Love due to fu<h a one, as the hand by which God did reach out to us his unvaluable mercies: And ingratitude, and feCh.rian proud contempt of fuch, as have been our fathers in Chrifi, is no !mall fin. 2. But yet another that never did us good, who is much wifcr and better and more ferviceable to the Church, mull be better Loved , than he by whom we were converted. Becaufe we are ro love men more for the f1kc of God and his Image and fervicc, than for our felves. 3· And it is a very common thing, for :pilfionate Women and young people, when thry arc newly converted, to think that they can never too much value and honour and Love thofe that wnverted them; and to think that all fuch Love is holy and from God; whereas rhe fame Love may be of God as to the principle, motives and ends, in the main, and yet may have great mixtures of plfiionate weaknefs, and finful cxcefs, which may tend to their great afRiCl:ion in the end. Some that have been converted by the writings of aMinitter a hundred or a thoufand milC's off, mull needs go fee the Author ; fame mufi needs remove from their lawfUl dwellings and callings, to live under the Minifiry of fuch a one ; yea if it may be in the houfe with him : fame have affections fo vio– lent, as proveth a torment to them when they cannot live with thofe whom they fa affect: ; fame by that affection are ready. ro follow thofe that they fo value, into any enour. And all this is a finful Love by this mixcure of paffionate weakoefs, though pious in the main. Q!efi. 9• Why fhould we reftrain oHr Love to a bof•me friend ( contrary to Ciccro's doUrine) and what fin or danger id in loving him loo much? . Anfw. All thefo following, 1. It is an errour of judgement and of wiU, to fuppofe .any one Eetter. than he is, (yea perhaps than any creature on earth is,) and fa to Love him. . 2• It is an irrational act, and therefore not fit for a Rational creature, to Love any one farther than reafon will allow us, and beyond the true caufc:s of regular Love. 3· It is ufually afruit of finful felfifhntji: for rhis excefs of Love doth come from a felfilh <aufe either Come llrong conceit that rho perfon greatly Lovcrh us, or for fome great kindnefs which he hath fhewc:d us, or for fame need we have of him, and fitnefs appearing in him to be ufeful to us, &c. Orherwife it would be purely for Amiable worrh, and then it would be proportioned to the natute and meafure of that worrh. 4· It very ofl<n taketh up mens minds, fo as to hinder their Love to God, and their defires and de– Iigh!S in holy things : While Satan (perhaps upon Religious pretences) rurneth our affe6tions too violently to {ome perfon, it divcnerh them from higher and better things: For the weak mind of man can hardly think earnefily of one thing, without being alienated in his thoughrs from others; nor can hardly love cwo things or perfons fervently at once, that fiand not in pure fubordination one to the other: And we fddom Love any fervently in a pure fubordination lO God; For then we (hould Love God llill more fervently. 5· It oft maketh men ill members of the Church and Commonwealth. for it contra6teth that Love to one over~valucd pcrfon, which lbould be diffufcd abroad among many ; and the common good which fhould be loved above any fingle perfon is by this means negle6tcd ( as God him• ldf): which maketh Wives and Children and bofome friends, be<ome thole gulfs that Iwallow up the efiares of moll rich men; fo that they do little good with them to the publick /late, which lhould be prefmed. 6. Ovetmu<h friendfhip engageth us in more duty than we arc well able to perform, without negle6ting our duty to God, the CominonwealrH and our own fouls. There is Come{ptcial duty fol– lowerh all fpe<ial acquaintan<e; but a bofome friend will expect agreat deal. You mufi allow him much of your 'time in conference, U.pon ill occafions; and he looketh that you lhould be many wayes friendly and ufeful to him, as he is or would be to you. When, alas frail man can do but little: our Time islhort; ou~ firength is frnall; our cfiates and facuhies are narrow and low. And that Time whi<h you mufi fpend with your bofome friend; where fricndlhip is not moderated and wifely managed, is.perhaps taken from God and rhepubliclt, good, to which you firfi owed it. Efpe– cially if you are Magifiratcs, Minifiers, Phyficions, Schoolmatlers, or fuch other as are of publick ufe– fulnefs. Indeed if you have afober prudent friend, that will look but for your vacant hours, and rather help you in your publi<k fervice, you are happy in fu<h a friend. But that is not the excc[s of Love that I am reprehending. 7· This inordinate friend!hip prepareth for difoppointments, yea a for excels of forrows. Ufually experience will tell you that your befi friends are but uncertain and imperfcd: men, and will not anfwer your expcctuion: And perhaps Come nf them may fo grofly fail you you, as to let light by you, or prove your Adverfaries. I have feen the bonds of extraordinary dcarnefs many ways dif– folved : One hath been over<ome by the flelh, and turned drunkard and fcnfual, and fo proved unfit for imimate fr~cnd01ip (who yet fornetirnc: feemed of extraordinary uprightnefs and zeal.) Ano– ther bath taken up feme fingular <on<eits in Religion; <nd joyn<d w lome fu~t. where his bofome friend
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