184 Bow to cboofe a13oJome Friend. '.DireBions for the rigl1t ufe offuciJ Friendjhip.· 8. He muft be one that is not Schifmatical and embodied in any dividing Sect: for elfc he will be ~o longer true to you, than the intereftof hi• party will allow him : And if you will not follow him m hiS_conceits and 6ngularities, he will withdraw his love, and defpife you : And if he do not yet he may endanger your ftedfallnefs, by the tempta<ion of his love. ' 9• He mufi be one that bath no other very intimate friend, unlcfs his friend bealfo as intimate wirh you as whh him; Bcc::aufc elfc he will be no funher fccrct and trufiy to you, than the intcreltor will of his other friend will allow him. IO· H~mull be one that is Prudtnl in the management of bufinefs, and efpecially thofe which your converfe u concerned in; c1fe his indifcrction in words or prad:i,e, will not futfcr your friendtbip to be long entirr. I I• He mull be one that is not addicted to loquacity, but can keep your focrcts : Otherwife he will be fo unuully as to be uncapable of doing the true office of a friend. ll• He mull have a zeal and adivity in Religion and in all well·doing: Otherwife he will be unfit to warm your alfcelions, and to provoke you to love and good works, and eo do the principal wurks of friendfhip; but will rather cool and hinder you in your way. I 3. He mull be one that is not addicted to levity, unconfiancy and change : or clfe you can expect no ftability in his friend£hip. J-4· He mufi not much differ from you in Riches, or in poverty; or in quality in the world. For jf he_be much Richer, he will be carryed away with higher company and converfe than yours, and will tbrnk you fitter to be his fervant, than his friend. And if he be much poorer than you, he will be apt to value your friendfllip for his own commodity, and you will be fiill in doubt, whether he be Gncerc. , I 5· He mufi be one that is like to live with you or near you; that you may have the frequent be– nefit of his converfe, counfcl, example, and other acts of friendlbip. 16. He mufi be one that is not very wvctous, or aLover ofRkhes or preferment : For fuch aone will no longer be true to you, than his Mammon will allow him. . I 7• He mufi be one that is not pievifh, paffionatc and impatient; but that can both bear with your infirmiticr , and alfo bear much from others for your fake , ill the cxcrcife of his fricndlbip. IS. He mull be one !hat hath fo good an elleem of your perfon, and fo ttue and firong a Love to you, as will fuffi<e to move him, and hold him to all this. I!1· He mull be yet of a publick Spirit, and a lovet ofgood works, that he may put you on to well .Joing, and not countenance you in an idle, felf-plcafing and unprofitable life. .And he ought to be one that is skilful in the bufinefs of your Calling, that may be fit to cenfure your work, and amend it, and direct you in it, and confer about it? And it is bell for you if he be one that ex– cclleth you herein, that he may add fomething to you (But then you will not be fuch to him, and fo the friendlbip will be unequal ). 20. Laftly, There muft be fome fuitablcnefs in Age and Stx. The young want experience to make them meet for the bofome friendfhip of the aged (though yet they may take delight in in– firutling them, and doing them good. ) And the young are hardly reconcilable to all rhe gravity of the aged. And it mull not be a perfon of a different fex, unlefs in cafe ofMarriage: Not but that they may be helpful to each other as Chrifiians, and in a flare ofdifianr friendfhip: But this bofome intimacy, they are uucrly unfit for, bccaufc of unfuitabltntfl, tcmptatWn andfoandal. ' 'Dire8io1u for tiJe right Ufe of jpecial IJ3ofome Friendjhip. Dirt{}. I· Dirt8. I · ENgage not your fclf to any one, as a bofome friend, without great evidence and proof of his fitnefs jn all the foregoing qualifications. By which you may fee, that this is not an ordinary way of dt~ty or btnefit, but a very unufual cafc. for it is a hard thing to meet with one among many thoufands, that hath all thefe qualifications : And when that is done, if you have •ot all the fame qualifications to him, you will be unmeet for his friendfhip, what ever he be for yours. And where in •n agt will thtre be two that are fuited in all thofe refpcds? There– fore our ordinary way ofduty is, ro love all according to their various worth, and to make the bell ufe we can of every ones gnccand gifi~, and of thofe moll that are nearell us ; but without the partiality of fuch extraordinary affection to any one above all rhe rctl. f or young perfons ufu•lly make their choice rafhly, of one that afterwards proveth utterly unmect for the Office of fuch a friend, or at leall, no better than many other ptrfons: Nay, ten to one, bur afrerexperience wi!l ac· quaint thc:m with many that arc much wifer, and bcuer, and fitter for their love. And hally affeCtion-;, are guilty of blind partiality, and run men into fin and forrow, and often end in unpleafant ruptures. Therefore be not too forward in this friend£hip. VirtU.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTcyMjk=