Baxter - BJ1441 B3 1673

'DireEliOIIS for the rigf1t ufe ofFri'endjhip. Virtll. 2· When yo~ do chooiC a friend, though he mufi be one that you have no caufe to be Dirtll• ;. fufpicious of, yet reckon that it is poflible that he may be eOranged from you, yea, and turn your enemy. Ca.ufel~ )Cal~ufies are conuary to fricndlhip on your part; and if there be Caufe, it is inconfillent wtth fnend!lup on his pait. But yet no friendlhip fhould make you blind, and not m know that man is a corrupt and mutable creature; cfpecially in fuch an age as this, wherein we have fecn, how perfonal Changes, State~changcs, and changes in Religion, have ali~natcd many fecming friends. Therefore Love them, and Ufe them, and Trufi them, bur as men, that may poffibly fail all your cxpeChtions, and open all your fccrcts, and betray you, yea, and turn your enemies. SufptCl it not, but judge it poffible. Dir<ll· 3· Be open with your approved friend, and commit all your fecrcts to him, llill excepting Direll. 3• thofe, the knowledge ofwhich may be hurtful to himfelf, or the revealing of them hereafter may be intollerably injurious to your felf, ro the honour of Religion, eo the publick good; or to any orher. If you be nerdldly clofc, you are neither friendly, nor can you improve your triend enough to your own advantage. But yet if you open all without exception, you may many wayes be injurious to your f1iend and to your fclf; and the day m:ty come which you did nor look for, in which his weaknefs, paffion, interefi, or alienation, may rroubtc you by making all publick to the world. · DirtlJ. 4· Ufc as little affc:Cbtipn or cetemony with your friend as may be; but let all your con- Dirtl1· 4• vc:rfe wirh him be wirh epennefs of heart, that he rnty fce that you both trull him , and de.1l with him in plain fincerity. If diffimulation and forced aff!Gtation be bi.lt once difcovc:red, it tendcth to breed a confia.m diffidence and fufpicion. And if it be an infirmity of your own which you rhink necdeth fuch a cover, the Cloak will be of worfe effect, than the knowledge of your infirmity. Dirtll. 5· Be ever faithful to your friend, for the cure of all his faults; and never turnfritndfhip Dirtll. 5 • into lbtttry: yet fiill let all be done in Love, though in a friendly freedom<, and clofenels ofadmonition. It is not the leitl benefit of intimate friend!hip, that what an tnemy fpeaketh behind our backs, afriend will open plainly to our faces: To watch over one another daily, and be as a glafs to {hew our facc:s or faults to one another js the very great benefir of tr:uc friendfhip, Ecclef. 4• 9,Io, 1 r. Two are better fban one; . bec.zu[t thty have a good rerP~rd for thtir l.zhour. FQr if tbty1'aU, the ont wiU lift •P hi< ftVow ; Bur wo to him tbar H alme whtn be faVuh , for bt ~A<h nor anDthtr to help him up. It is a ftuterer and not a friend , that will pleafe you by concealing or extenuating ~~ . . Direll. 6. Abhor Stlfifhnefs as rriofi contrary to real friendlhip. Let your friend be as ycur felf, Dire/1. 6. and his inteJcft as your own. If we mull love our ntighboltr as our fdves, muth mo1e our deardt bofomc friends. . ·! Dircll. 7• Underlland what is mofi e~ceUtnt anil ufeful in your friend , and that improve. Much Dirt/1. 7 • good is lott by a dead hearted comp•nion, that will neither broach the Vcffcl and draw out that which is ready for their ufe ; nor yet feed any good difcourfe, by due queflions or anfwers, but llifle all by barren filencc. And a dull filcnt hearer, will weary and filence the fpeaker at the !all. Direll. 8. Refolve to bear with each others infirmities : Be not toohigh in your expectations from Dirtll. 8; ~ach other : Look not for exaClnefs and innoccncy , but for humane infirmities, that when they fall out, you may n.ot find your felvcs difappointcd. Patience is necdfary in all humane converfe. DirtlJ. 9• Yet do not fuff,r fricndlhi p to blind you, to own or extenuate the faults ofyour dear- DireE1. 9 • cfi friend: for that will be finful partiality, and will be ~reatly injuridus to God, and treachery againfi the foul and f•fcty of your lricnd. . Dirt[/. lO· And watch Id\ the love, dlimation or reverence of your fJiend, !hould draw you to Dirtll. 10 , ; ntertain his crrou, or to imitate him in any finful way. Jt is no part of true fricild(hip to prefer men before the truth ofChrifilnor to take any heretical, dividing, or fcnfual infection fwmour friend, and fo to dye and perilh with him. Nor is it friendly to defire it• Dirtll· r r. Never fpeak againfi your friend to a third perfon; Nor open his dilhonourable weak. v· t1 ncfs to another. As no man can ferve two MaOers; fo no man can well ~leafc two contrary friends : lrt ' I I· And ifyou whifptr to one the f.ilings of another, it tendeth directly to the ditfolution of your friendlhip. Dirt8.12· Think not that love will warrant your partial erroneous dlimation of your friend~ Direll. 12• You may judge him fittell for your intimacy : but you mufi nbt judge him better than all other men, unlcfs you have fpecial evidence of it, as the reafon of fQch a judgement. Dirtfi. I 3· Let not the love of your friend draw you to love all, or any others the lefs, and below Dire!1. t J• their worth. Let not fricndfhip make you narrow heaned, and confine your chaJity to one. But give all their due, in your valuation and your converfation, and cxercife as large a charity and bc'- nignity as poffibly you ~an : ·Efpe~ially to SJcieties, Churches and_Commorl·wealth, and ro, all the world : It is a finful friendlhip, which robbeth others of your chanty : Efpecially thofe J whorn much more is due than to your ftiend. Dirc/1. I 4 , Exercife your friendfhip in Holinefs; and well·doiog: Ki~dle in eaclf other the Love of Di"ll; I+· God and Goodnefs, and provoke each other to a heavenly·convet.fauon. The more of God and Heaven is in your fricndfhip, the more holy, fafc, and {weet, aild durable it will prove. It will not wither, when an cverlalling fubjcd: is the fewd that maintaineth it. If it will not help you the better to Holincfs and to Heaven, it is wouh nothing, Ecdef. 4· 11· If two lye togttbtr, then thty havt · he11t ;

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