Baxter - BJ1441 B3 1673

Dirc<J. S· Dire<J.6. f>ireEl.ions for Choice in Marriage. that wne ever much the better for it? what a Childi(h thing it is to dote on a Book of tales and lyes, becaufe it hath a. beautiful gilded cover ? and to Ul1dervalue the writings of the wife, be– caufe they have a plain and homely oudide! 3· RuleJDHr thougbtJ, and let them not run rnafierltfs as fanfie fl~all com~and tbcrn. If Reafon c~nn~t call olf your thoughts, from following a lujlful dc6rc and Imagmat!On, no wonder 1f one that ndeth on iuch an unbridled Colt be cait into the dirt. 4• Live not idfy, but let the butinefs of your callings, take up your time, and employ your thoughts. An idle ~.'fl1ly mind is the <arkafs where the Vermine of Lu!l doth crawl, and the nett where the Devil hatcheth both this and many other pernicious fins. 5· Lafily and chiefly, forger not the concernments of your fouls: Remember how near you are to Eternity, and what ·work you have to do. for your falvation : forger nor the prefence of God, nor the approach of death : Look oft by faith into Heaven and Hell, and keep Confcience tender; and then l warrant you, you will find fomething clfe to mjnd than Lull; and greater matters than a filly carkafs to take upyour thoughts, and you will fec:l that Heavenly Love within you, which will cxtingui!h earthly carnal Love•. ~ · 45· DireCt. 5· Bt not too h.sjly iit y01tr choice or refolmion, lmt deliberate weV, and througbly Jt~ow the per[on on ll'hom fo much of the comfort or forrow of your life will uectffarily depend. Where Repentance bath no place, there is the greater care to be ufed w prevent ir. Reafon requireth you to be well acquainted with thofe that you trull but with an important fecret, much more with all your honollf or cfiates: and mofi of all, with one whom you muft trufi with fo much of rhe cdm– fort of your lives, and your advantages for a better life:. No care and caution can be too great in a matter of fo great importance. ~· 46. Direct. 6. La 110 carnal motive~ ptr{r>•dt yox 10 joyn your {elf 10 an ungodly perfon ; bm let tbe holy fear of God be preferred in your choice bifore aU worldly txcellency TPhatfoever. Marry not a Swine for a Golden trough: nor an ugly foul for a comely body. Conlider, •· You will elfe give caufe of great fufpicion that you arc your frlveJ Vngodly: for they that know truly the mifiry of ~n ununewed {ottl, and the exceUency of the Image of God, can never be indifferent whether they be joyned to the Godly or theVngodly: To prefer things temporal, before things fpiritual habitually and in the predominant acts of heart and life, is the certain Character of a gracelefs foul ! And he that in fo near a cafe doth deliberately prefer Ricbts or Comlinefs in another, before the image and fear of God, doth give a very dangerous fign, of fuch a gracelefs heart and will. If you fet more by , Beauty or Riches than by Godlintfi, you have the fureft mark that you are ungodly. If you do not fet more by them, how come you deliberately .to prefer them? How could you do a thing that dc– tecteth your ungodlinefs, and condemceth you more clearly? And do you not fhew that you either believe not the word ol God, or clfe. that you love him not, and regard not his interdl ' Othtr– wife you would u.ke his friends as your friends, and his enemies as your enemies. Tell me, would you many an enemy of your onm, before any change and reconciliation ? I am confident you would not. And can you fo eafily marry an enemy of God ? If you know not that all rhe un· godly and unfand:ified. are his enemies~ you know not or believe not the word of God : which telleth you that tbe carnal mimJ H enmity againft God : for it i1 not fubjell to the Law of Gad, nor indettl c.2;1 be : fo tbm they tbat are in tht fttjh cannot pledft God, Ram. 8. 7, 8. 2. If you fen God )'OUr felves, your chief end in man:iage will be to have one that will be a helper to you~: foul, and further you in the way to Heaven ; But if you marry with a perfon that is ungodly, either you have no fuch end, or clfe you may eafily know you have no wifelyer chofcn the me.sms, than if you had chofen water to kindle the fire, or a bed of (now to keep you warm. Will an i~orant or ungodly perfon affift you in prayer and holy watchfulnef•, and (lir you up to the Love otGod, and a heavenly mind I And can you fo willingly lofe all the fpiritual benefit, which you fhould principally delire and intend ? 3· Nay infread of a Helptr you will have a continual hinderer : when you fl10uld go to prayer you will have one to pull you back, or to fill your minds with diverli· ons or difquietmcnts! when you !hould keep clofe to God in holy meditations, you will have one to caft in worldly thoughts, or trouble your minrls with vanity or v~xation. When you fhould di(:. courfe of God and heavenly things, yol\ will have one to fiifle fuch difcourfe, and till your ears with idle, impertinent or worlc{ly talk,./And one fuch a hindcrance [o neer you, in your boforne; will be wor!C than a thoufand further·off; As an ungodly beart which is next of all to us, is our grtatcft hinderance, fo an ungodly hu;btmd or wife, which is next to that, is worfe to us than many ungodly neighbours./And if you think that you c-an we!J enough overcome fuch hinderances, and your heart is fo good rbat no fuch clogs can keep it down, you do but {hew that you have a proud unhumbled heart, that is prepared for a fall. If you know your felves, and the badnefs of your hearts, you will know that you have no need of hinderances in any_holy work, and that all the helps in the world are little enough, and too little to keep your fouls in the Love of God. 4· And fuch an ungodly companion will be to you a continual temptation to fin. lnfiead of fiirring you. up (O good, you will have one to fiir yo~J up to evil, to pa{ijon, or difcontcnt, or covetoufnefs, or pride, or revenge or fenfuality ; And can you not fin enough without [uch a tempter? 5· And what a con· tinual gr~e~ will it be to you if you are believers, to have a child of the Devil jn your ~ofome? and to rhmk how far you ml1fi be ftparated at death ? alld in what rorrflents thofe mufi l~e ~or ever, thar are fo dear unto you uow ? 6. Yea fuch companions will be uncapa.ble of the prmc1paJ parr of your Love. Yo_u may love rhem as H~tsband-1 or TYivu, but you :cannot love them as S:dntJ andmrmbmof Chnl!. And how great a want this will be in your Love, thofc know that know what this holy Loye is,

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