T!Je f>uties of HtUhands and Wiws. 1. For Love. CHAP. VII. T!Je muttlal f>mies of Husbands and Wi"Ves towards tM!J ot!Jer. ~ I· IT is the pernicious fuhvetfion of all fo<icties, and fo of the world, that felfifh ungodli/ perfons enter mto all Rclauons, wtth a dcfire to ferve thcmfelvcs there, and fiili out ail tloat gntJfieth thm flefh, but without any fenfe of the Duty of their RelatJon. They ~r~:.:t.~;.82' 2• bethmk them what honour, or profit, or pltofure their Relation wtll afford them, bur not what God and man require or expect from them. All their thought 1s, What thty jhall btJvt, but not What tbty jhaU be and do. They ue very fenfible what othm jhould be and do to them, but not what tEeyjhould be and do to others. Thus it is with MagiftrateJ, a'nd with People, with too many Pafrors and their flocks, with Husbands and Wives, with Pucnrs and Children, with Mafiers and "Servants, and all other Relations. Whereas our firfi care !hould be to know and perform rhe -:putits of our Rclarions, and pleafe God in them, and then look for his bleffing by way ofencourage· mg-reward. Study and do your parts, and God will certainly do hil. Direc1. I, ~· 2· Diret!. I· 1be firft Duty of Htt<bandJ iJ lo Love their Wiva ( and Wiv,; their HmbaNdt ) with a true entire Co11jugal Love. Ephef 5· 25, 18, 29, 33· HZMhands love yo11r 1f'?lJts, even oH Cbrift· alfo loved the Church, and gave bimfelf for it---So orcgbt mtH to liJVt their 1Yives as their own bodies: he that lovtth his Wife, loiletb himfelf: For no man ever yet bated his own Jlefh ;"but nourijh– cth and cherijheth it, even as the Lord the Churcb._.......;_fet every one of )'OU in p<Srticu/ar {o luve hi1 Wife even M himfr!f---It is a Relation of Love th~t ·you have entered. Gael hath made it your Gen.2.24· Ephc!>~ t.~, :tR, 29, 3,;. Duty for your mutual help and comfort: that you m!y be as willlng and ready to fuccour one ano~ ther, as the hand Is to help the eye. or orher fel.lo~~~ern?er: .~nd that your converfc may be fweet; and your burdens eafie, and your ltves 'may be comfortable. If Love be removed but for an hour between Hruband and 1Yije, they are f6long as a bone out of joint: There is no eafe, no order, no– work well done, till they arc reftotcd -and fet in joint again. Therefore be fu1e that Conjugal Love be conlbndy maintained. ' ' Sub-dir~tl~- 9· 3· The Sub·dirtaions for m:tiJ1t~i;ti1/g Conjug"lL 9ve are fuch as thefe. Dirtlf. z, Choofe one at o·J~ '(:m~m- l firfi that is truly amiable, efpeci~lly in the vertUes of the mind. 2· Marry not till you are fure that rm onJuga you can Love entirely. Be not drawn for ford id ends, to joyn with one that you have but ordinary ove. affections for. 3· Be not too hafty, but know before hand, all rhe imperfections, which may tempt you afterwards to loathing. But if thefe duties have been linfully n('glected, yet 4· Rememberthat Jufiice cornmandeth you to Love one that harh as it were forfaken all the world for you, and is con– tented to be the companion of your labours and futferings, and be an equal Ch.arer in all conditions wirh you, and that mull be your companion until death. lt is worfe than barbarous inhumanity to entice fuch a one into a bond of Love, and fociety with you, and then to fay, You cannot Love her! This Was by perfidioufnefs to draw her into a fnare to her undoing. What comfort can fhe pave in her converfe with you,_and care, an.d labour, and necdfary fufferings, jf you deny her Con· jugal Love? Efpecially if fhe de•y not Love to you, rhe inhumanity ls the greater. 5· Remember that Women are ordinarily affcCl:ionate, paffionate creatures, and as they love much thernfelvcs, fo they expetl' much love from you. And when you joyned your felf to fuch a Nature, you obliged your felfto anfwerable duty. And if Love caufe not Love, it is ungrateful and unjult conterr.pt.. 6. Remember tlut you are under Gods command: And to deny conjugal Love to your Wives, is to dwy a duty which God hath urgently impofcd on you. Obedience therefore fhould command your Love. 7· Remember that you are Relatively as it were one fiejh: You have drawn he"t to forfake t~ather and Mother to cleave to you: You are conjoyned for procreation of fuch children as mull l;>ear the irn~e and nature of you both : your poifcffions and intcrefis are in a manner the fame. And thmfore fuch nearnefi fhould command affet!ion: They that are aJ yo~<r [tlveJ fhould be mofl eafily loved as your [elves. 8. Take more notice of the good that is in your Wives, than of tjle evil.. Let not the ob(Crvation of their fattltr make you forget or overlook their vertuu. Love is kindled by the fight ofLove or Goodnefs. 9· Make nor infirmities to feem odieui faults, but excufe them as far as lawfully you may, by confidering the frailty of the Sex, and of their tempers, and confidering alfo your own infirmities, and how much your Wives mufi bear with you. 10. Stir up that moll in them into exerci[e which is beft, and ftir not up that which is evil: And then the good will moft ap– pear, and the evil will be as buried, and you will eafilier maintain your love. There is fame un· cle~nnefs in the bef! on earth: And if you will be daily lliuing in the filth, no wonder if you have the annoyance: And fo.r that you may thank your_fclves : Draw out th~ fragrancy of that which is .. goOd and dele6hblc in them, and do not by your own imprudence or pievjfhnefs .tlir up the worfi,and then you {hall find that ~ven your faulry Wives will appear more amiable to you. 1 1• Ovl:r· com~ them with Love: and then whatever they are in thcmfclves, they wiH be LovinJ!. to you, and conf(quently Lovel)'• Love will caufe Love, as fire kindleth fire: A good bmband is the bdl means ro ·– .. make
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