Motives for Hob EdttcatiOII of [hildren. 5.23 made, the balfamick quality of Love will heal ir. But when Love once coolcth, frnall matters exafpe~ rare and breed difiafies. 2. Burh Husband and Wife mufi mortifie their Pride and Paf!ion which are the caufes ofImpatiency; and mull pray and labour for a H:tmble, meelt_ and quiet ffiirit. For it is the di{ta[ed turj'_tr of the heart, thlt caufeth ~iff~ntiuns, more than the occafions or matter of offence do. A proud heart is troubled and provoked by tvay word or Carriage that feemerh to tend to their undervaluing : A pievi{h frowud mind is like a fore and ulcerated member, that will be hurt if it be roucht. He tf)ar mull live near fuch a fore di{eafed impatient mind, mull: live even as the nurfe doth with the child, th:n maketh it her bufinefs to rock it and lull and fing it quiet when it t:rycth : For to be aHgry with it will do no good: And if you have married one of fuch a fick or childi(h temper, you mutt rcfolve to bear .and ufe them accordingly. But no Chriflian Chould bl!ar with fuch a vexatious malady in themfelvcs: nor be puicnt with fuch impatiency of mind ; Once get the victory over your filvts 1 and get the cure of your own impatience, and you will eafily keep peace with one ano· dier. · 3· Reniembcr flill that you are both difeafcd pcrfons, full of infitmities; and therefore expeCl the fruit of rho[e infinnitii!S in each other; and make not a· ftrangc matter of it, as if you had neve~; known of it before: If you had married one that is lame, would• you be angry with her for halting~ Or if you had rnarri~d one that had aputride Ulcer, would you fall out with her becaufe it fiinketh? Did you not know before hand rhat you marded a perCon of fuch weakneffes as would yield you fome matter of daily tryal and offence? If you could not bear this, you Chould not have married her: If you refolved rhat you could be:n it then, you are obliged to bear it now. Refol~e therefore to bear with one another; as n.me!llbring that you took one another as finful, frail> imperfect perfons, and not as Angels, or as blamtlefs and perfect. 4· Remember llill that you arc "" ftefh; and therefore be no more offended with the words or fa'ilings of each other, thl.n you would be if they were your orvn : Fall out no mort with your wife for her faults, than ynu do with yo~tr [elf for your own faultJ : and than you would do if her/ had beenyour own. This will J.}low you fuch an angtr and diffilta{ure againfi a fault, as tendeth to heal it ; but not fuch as tendeth but to fefier and vex the difeafed part. This will turn anger into CCJmpr~ffion, and [pudy tender diligence for the cure. · · 5· Agree together b.fore hand, that when one is in the difeafed angry ,fit, the other !hall !ilently and genrly bear, till it be pafi and you are come to your felvc."S again : Be not angry both at once ; when the fire is kindled, quench it with gentle words and carriage; and do not call on Oyle or fuel, by anfwering provokingly and fJmply, or by multiplying words, and by anfwering wrath with wrath: But remember that now the work that you are called to, is to mollifie and Rot t6 exafperate, to help a.nd not to bun, to cure another rather than to right your felf: As if anOther fall and hurt him, your bufinefs is to help him up, and not to tread upon him. 6. Look before you, and remember that you mutl:'live together untill death, and muft be the coinpa.. nions of each others fortunes, and the comforts of each others lives, and then you will fee how abfind it is for you to difagree and vex each other. Anger is the principle of revenge, and falling out doth tend to feparation. Therefore thofe that mull not revenge, fhould not give way to anger ; and thofe that know they muft not part, (],ould not fall our. 7• As far as you are able, avoid all occafions of wrath and falling out, about the matters nf yOur Families: fome by their flothfulnefs bring themfelves into w4m ; and then being unable to bear it, they contrat:l a difcontented picvifh habit; and in their impatiency they wrangle and difquiet one another: f9me plunge thr.mfelves into a multitude of bu{inefs, and have to do with fo many things and perfons, that one or other is ftill offending them, and then they are impatient with one another: fame haTe neither Jkjll nor diligence to manage their bufindfes aright : and fo things fall crofs, and go out of order, and then their impatiency turneth it [elf againfi each other ; Avoid thcfe occafionr, if you wouta avoid the fin : And fee that you be not unfurnifhed. of Patience, to beu that which cannot be.avoided. 8. If you cannot quickly quench your poffion, yet at leafl rt[rain your tonguu: fpeak not reproach– ful or provoking words : Talking it out hotly doth blow the fire, and cnorcafe the flame : Be but filept, and you will the fOoner return to your fcrenity and peace. Foul words tend to more dif. , r · pleafure. As SQcrateJ {aid when his Wife firfi r4Utd at him, and next threw a vdfd of foul Water upon him [I tbougbt wbm I heard tbe t6tmdtr, theri would come rain J: fo you may portend worfe following, when foul unfeernly words begin : If you cannot eafily allay your wrath, you may hold your tongues, if you are truly willing. 9· Let the fober party condefcend to Ipeak fair and to intreat the other: ( onlcfs it be with a per~ fon fo infolent as will be the worfe.) Ufualiy a few (ober grave admonitions, will prove as water to the boyling pot : fay to your angry Wife or Hu!bf4, [You know this !bould not be betwixt us ; Love mull ~llay it r and it muft be repentc!d of : ~'?d doth riot approve ir ;· it; and we lhall not approve it when his heat is over : This f,ame of mind is contrary to a praying frame, and this language connary to a praying language : we mufi pray together anon ; ·let us do nothing contrary to prayt'r now :. fweet water and bitter come not from one fpring, &c.] Some calm and condefcending words of Rcafon, may !lop the torrent, and revive the Fi,eafo•i which Paffior\ had ()Vercome. · ro. Confefsyour fault to one another, when paffinn hath prevailed again!! you; and ask for~ivenefs of each other, and joyn in prayer to God for pardon; and this will lay a greater engagement oil
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