Baxter - BJ1441 B3 1673

The Vuty of Wives. CHAP. IX. The JPecial'Duties of Wives to HmbanJs. T , HE Wife that cxpeCt:c!th comfo!t in aHuiband, mu~ make c~nfcicnce of all her own Duty to her Husband ; For though 1t be hi< duty to be kmd and fa~thful to her though fhe pcove unkind and froward, yet I· Men are frail and apt ro fail in fuch difficult duties as well as women : 2. And it is fm ordered by God, that comfort and dmy iball go together, and you ihall mifs of comfort, if you cafl off du~. 9· r. DireCt. I. Be {peciaVy loving toyour Hu1bands : Your nalurts give you the advantage in this : Vite[/. r~ and Love feedeth Love; This is your fpecial requital for all the troubles that your intirmities put them to. 9. 2 • Direct. 2· Live in a voluntary {ubjellionand obcdienceto tbem. If thtir fofrncfs or yielding~ Dire{1 2. nefs caufc them ro relinquilh their authority ; and for peace they are fain to let you have yol_\r wiUr; yet remember chat it is God that hath appointed them m be your Heads and Governours. If they are fa jiUy as to be unable, you fhould not have chofc:n fuch ro Rule you as arc: unrit : but having ciJofen them, you mull: affijl them with your lmtcr underjfanding in a fubmif!ive and not a ruling mafierly way. A fervant that hath a foolith rnafier may help him withour brcoming Majler. And do not deceive your [elves by giviAg the bare Tit/er of Government ro your Husbands, when yte you mull needs in all things have your own J;Jl'Ws : For this is but mockery, 2nd not obediCIKC. To befubje8 and obedient is to take the Vnderftanding and will of another to Govem you bef.)re ( thou5!-t not t:Pitbout ) your own; and to make your Vnderjl.Jndingi andwiUs to follow the conduct of his that governeth you. Self·wiUedntji is contrary to fubjeCl:lon and obedience. . . ~· 3· Direct. 3· Learn ~f your Husbandr as your appointed Teachers, and lte not[elf-conceited and wi(c DJrelJ, 3• i1t your own eyer, hHt as~ Of them foch inftnd1ions as your c,).fe requiretb. 1 Cor. If· 34, 35· Le~ your women l<fep filence iu the Churchu, for it Mnot permitted to them to JPeak..: but they are comm4Jtdc4 10 be under obcdie~tce, ar alfo fait/, the Law : and if they rrill learn any thing, let them asJt t.heir burb.mdr at h 1 me: ( unltfs when the husband is lO ignorant as to be utterly uuab.lt: ; which is hisfin andjhame : For it is vain to ask that of them which they know not. ) ~· 4· Direct. 4· Set your fllves ftrioujly to amend all thofe faultr which tbey reprflve in yau : Do no~ Dirtli. 4-' take it ill to be reproved ; fwell not againfi ir, as if they did you harm or wr.ong : It is a vt:ry ill fign to bate reprouj; Prov.12. I· and tO· 17. and 15· 10,. 31, 32· and I7· IO· And what doth rheir Government of you tignirie, ifyou will not amend the faults th.a are rtprovcd in you ? but continue impenitent and grudge at the reproof? Ir is a rnifcrablc folly to ddite to be flattered and foothed by any, but efp:cially by one that is bound to be faithful to you, and whofe intimacy fhould make you as ready to hear of your faults from him, as to be acqutinted with them your [elves: and cfp:ciallr when it conccrneth the fafcty or benctif of your fouls. §. 5· Direct. 5· Honour your Husbands according to tbeir {uperiority. Behave nor your fdves to- VirtU. 5• wa1·ds them with unrcvcrcncc and contempt, in titles, fpccchrs or any behaviOlli : If ·\he worth of 'heir perfom dcfcrve not Hon~ur, yet their place ddervech i!. Speak not of their infirmities toorhers behind their backs: as fame twatling Goffips ufe to do, .that l<now not that their husbands difho. nour is their own, and that to open it cauiLOy to others is cheir doub\(: llnme. Tho[t due filenrly hear you, will tdl others behind your hack, how foolifhly and fhamefully you fpake 10 them againll your Husbands. If 9od hav(: made your nrercji fritnd an affi:Cl:ion to you, why {hould Y•)U corn. plain to one that is farther off ? ( unlcfs ic be to·fome fpccial prudent friend) in CJ[t: of true mccffity for advi(c.) ~· 6. Dired'. 6. Li~t in a c?ter{Hl contentednefs with your condition; and tak_e heed of an impf~tiem Dirtl1· 6. mttrmurinj!,fPirit. It IS a contmual burden to .a man to have an impatient difcontmted wife. Mmy a poor man can eafily bear his poverty him[elf, that yet is not able ro bear his Wives impatience under ir. To hear her night and day complaining, and (peaking difirufifully, and fee her live dif 1 quietedly, is far heavier than his pE>verty it felf. If his Wife could bear it as patienrly as he, it would be but light to him. Yea, in cafe of [uffering for righceoufntfs fake, the impatience of a wife is: a greater rryal to a man than :tll the fu1fering it felf; and many a mtn that could cafi!y have [ufft:red the lofs of his efiate, or banillmlent, OI imprifonment tOr Chrill, hath betrayed his COnfcicnc:: and yielded to fin, bcc•u!C his wjfe hath grieved him with impatitncy, and could not bear what he could bear. Whereas acontented ~heerful wif~, doth help to make a mJn cheerful and contented i1~ ~vety flate~ . · , , §. 7· Direct. 7• In a fpccial mannir /trive '" fubd~tey.,ur paffio~tsrt and to JPcllft mtd diJ aO in mer~ Vire&i•1• nefs and fobr.iety. The rath~r. becaufe that the weakne{s of }'Our Sex:. doth ufually (l-t9ject youmor~ to Paf!imt, than men: And 1t IS the common caufc of the husb:m4s dirquietne!S,· and roe ca(amiry of )'OUt '

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