( 5 ) - foul fhould be as precious to me.; Chrift fhould be as much va. lued : GraceMould be as much magnified : Self fhould be as much denyed. I am as deeply beholden to Chrift and Free-Grace as moll poor fanners in the world : And fhould I vilifie or wrong them, for anOpinion, or I know not what ! Every man that is drawn from (brill., is drawn by forcecontrary prevailing Intereft What intereft fhould draw me to think meanly ofmy Saviour, or his Free-Grace ?, For Free-Remillion alone without any conditi-, on, or an Eternal JuItification ; I donot perceive but that my ve- ry Carnal part would fain have it to be true. I have flefh as well as they ; and ifI am able to difcern the pleadings or inclinations of that flefh, it runs their way incontradidion to the Spirit- And the Lordknows I have as little reafon to extol myownRighteoufnefs, or place myconfidence in Works and Merits, asother men have. mult truly fay,The Lord holdethmy fins much more before mine eyes then my Good-Works : The one are Mountains to me, the other I can fcarce tell whether I may own in propriety, without many Cautions and Limitations. I have therefore no Carnal : interelts ofmy own that I can- pollibly difcover, to lead me againft the way of thefe men; or Engage me to contend againft them. Yet am I not able to forbear. I confefs I am an unreconcileable Enemy to their Dodrines, and fo let them take me : I had as live tell them fo, as hide it. The more I pray God to illuminate me in thefe things, the more am I animated, againft them. The more I -fearch after the truth in my Studies, the more I diflike them. The more I read their ownBooks,the more do I fee the Vanityoftheir Conceits : But above all,, when 1 do but open the Bible 1 can - feldorn meet with a leafthat is not againft them. And what further means I lhouldufe,,befides Prayer, Study, Reading their Books, and Reading the Scripture, I do not remember. If they blame- - my evill,I cannot find any Byas againft them, from flefhly. intereft ( as I faid ,) but from fpiritual. Nor am I able to Believe what men would haveme,nor whatfoever I would my fell My will bath not the full command ofmy Belief. If they blame my underftand- ing, I will blame it too, but cannot clear it. Only I am refolved to wait on God in theufe of his means, and by the- help of his Grace, to fearch as diligently for the Truth as I can, and to Re- deem my time thereto as much, and fpare my Ilea) as little. as will fland with my life, and a freedom from the fin of felg murderoAncl isyet I mutt Jiffr,the?s no ret-nedy. II 3 The _
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