Baxter - Houston-Packer Collection BX5200 .B352 1835 v1

192 LIFE OF RICHARD BAXTER. joyful praises than now I do. Then I was little sensible of the greatness and excellency of love and praise ; though I coldly spake the same words in its commendations as now I do. Now, I amless troubled for want of grief and tears; though I more value humility, and refuse not needful humil"ation. But my conscience now looketh at love and delight in God, and praising him as the top of all my religious duties ; for which it is that I value and use the rest. "8. My judgment is much more for frequent and serious medi- tation on the heavenly blessedness than it was in my younger days. I then thought that a sermon of the attributes of God, and the joys of heaven, was not the most excellent; and was wont to say, ' Every body knoweth that God is great andgood, and that heaven is a blessed place ;. I had rather hear how I may attain it.' And nothing pleased me so well as the doctrine of regenerationand the marks of sincerity, which was because it was suitable to me in that state ; but now I had rather read, hear, or meditate on God and heaven, than on any other subject; for I perceive that it is the object which altereth and elevateth the mind, which will resemble that which it most frequently feedeth on and that it is not only useful to our comfort, to be much in heaven in our believing thoughts, but that it must animate all our other duties, and fortify us against every temptationand sin; and that the love of the end is the poise or spring which setteth every wheel agoing, and must put us on to all the means. "9. I was once wont to meditate most on my own heart, and to dwell all at home, and look little higher. I was . still poring either on my sins or wants, or examining my sincerity; but now, though I am greatly convinced of the need of heart acquaintance and employment, yet I see more need of a higher work, and that I should look often upon Christ; and God, and heaven. At home, I can find distempers to trouble me, and some evidences of my peace ; but it is above that I must find matter of delight and joy, and love, and peace itself. Therefore I would have one thought at home upon myself and sins, and many thoughts above upon the high and amiable and beatifying objects. "10. Heretofore I knew much less than now, and yet was not half so much acquainted with my ignorance ; I had a great delight in the daily, new discoveries which I made, andof the light which shined in upon me, like a man that cometh intoa country where he never was before ; but I little knew either how imperfectly I un- derstood those very points whose discovery so much delighted me, or how much might be said against them, or how many things I was yet a stranger to. But now I find far greater darkness upon all things, and perceive how very little it is that we know in corn-