196 LIFE OF RICHARD BAXTER. that the church maygrow extensively in the summer of prosperity, and intensively and radically in the winter of adversity; yet, usu- ally, their night is longer than their day, and that day itselfhath its storms and tempests." "29. I do not lay so great a stress upon the external modes and forms of worship, as many young professors do." " I cannot be of their opinion, that think Godwill not accept him that prayeth by the common prayer book ; and that such forms are a self-invent- 'ed worship, which God rejecteth nor can I be of their mind that say the like of extemporary prayers. " 30. I am much less regardful of the approbation of man, and set much lighter by contempt or applause, than I did, long ago. I am oft suspicious that this is not only from the increase of self-de- nial and humility, but partly from my being glutted and surfeited with human applause. All worldly things appear most vain and unsatisfactory when we have tried themmost. But though I feel that this bath some hand in the effect, yet, as far as I can perceive, the knowledgeof man's nothingness,and God's transcendent great- ness, with whom it is that I have most to do, and the sense of the brevityofhuman things, and the nearness of eternity, are the prin- cipal causes of this effect; which some have imputed to self-con- cettedness and morosity. "31. I am more and more pleased with -a solitary life; and though, in away of self-denial, I could submit to the most public life for the service of 'God, when he requireth it, and would not be unprofitable, that I might be private ; yet I confess it is muchmore pleasing to myself to be retired from the world, and to have very little to do with men, and to converse with God, and conscience, and good books. "'32. Though I was never much tempted to the sin of covet- ousness, yet my fear of dyingwas wont tó tell me that I was not sufficiently loosenedfrom this world; but I find that it is compara- tively very easy to me tobe loose from this world, but hard to live by faith above. To despise earth, is easy to me; butnot so easy to be acquainted and conversant with heaven. I have nothing in this world which I could not easily let go; but to get satisfying apprehensions of the other world is the great and grievous 'dif- ficulty. "33. I am much more apprehensive than long agoof the odi- ousness and danger of the sin of pride. Scarcely any sin appear- eth more odious to me." " I think so far as any man is proud, he is kin to the devil, andutterly a stranger to God and'to himself. It is a wonder that it should be a possible sin to men that still carry about with them, in soul and body, such humblingmatter ofremedy as we all do.
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