LIFE OF RICHARD BAXTER.. 199 such are dead, though we never differed in point of interest, or any other matter, every sour or cross, provoking word which I gave them, maketh me almost irreconcilable to myself, and tells me how repentance brought some of old to pray to the dead' whom they had wronged, to forgive them, in the hurry of, their passion. " And though I before told the change of my judgment against provokingwritings, I have had more will thanskillsince to avoid such. I must mention it by way of penitent confession, that I am too much inclined to such words in controversial writings, which are too keen and apt to provoke the person whom I write against. Sometimes I suspect that age soureth my spirits; and sometimes I am apt to think thatit is long thinking and speaking of such things that maketh me weary and less patient with others that understand them not; and sometimes I am readyto think that it is out of a hatred of the flattering humor which: now prevaileth so in the world, that few persons are able to bear the truth. And I am sure that I can hardly bear myself such language as Iuse to others, but that I expect it. I think all these arepartlycauses ; but I am sure the principal cause is a long custom of studying bow to speak and write in the keenest manner to the common, ignorant and ungod- ly people, (without which keenness no sermon or book does them much good,) which hath so habituated me to it, that I am still falling into the same with others, forgetting that many minis- ters and professors of strictness do desire the greatest sharpness to the vulgar and to their adversaries, and the greatest lenity And smoothness and comfort, if not honor to themselves. I have a strong natural inclination to speak of every subject just as it is, and to call a spade a spade, and verba rebus áptare ; so as that the thing spoken of may be fullest known by the words which methinks is part of our speaking truly. But I. unfeignedly confess that it is faulty, because imprudent; for that is not a good means which doth harm,becauseit isnot fitted to the end ; and because, whilst the read- ers thinkme angry, though I feel nopassion at such times in myself, it is scandalous, and a hindrance to the usefulness of what I write ; and especially, because, though I feel no anger, yet, which is worse, I know that there is some want ofhonor, and love, or tenderness to others ; or else I should notbe apt to use such words as open their weakness and offend them." "And I must say as the New England synodists, in their Defense against Mr. Davenport : ' We heartily desire, that, as much as may be, all expressions and reflec- tionsmay be forborne that tend to break thebond of love. Indeed, such is our infirmity, that the naked discovery of the fallacy or in- validity of another's allegations or arguings is apt to provoke. This in disputes is. unavoidable.' And, therefore, I am less for a
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