LIFE OF RICHARD BAXTER, 25 love be not a state of saving grace, and greater love to the world than to God be not consistent with sincerity, yet a little predomi- nant love, (prevailing against worldly love,) conjunct with a far greater measure of fear, may be a state of special grace ; and that fear, being an easier and irresistible passion, doth oft obscure that measure of love which is indeed within us ; and that the soul of a beliéver groweth up by degrees from the more troublesome and sfe' operation of fear, to the more high and excellent operations of çomplacential love; even as it hath more of the sense of the love of God in Christ, and belief of theheavenly life which it approach- eth; and that it is long before love be sensibly predominant in respect offear, (that is, of self-love and self-preservation,) though at the first it is predominant against worldly love. And I found that mÿ hearty love of the word,of God andof the servants of God, and my desires to be more holy, and especially the hatred'of my heart for loving God no more, and nay love to love him, and be pleasing to him, was not without some love to himself, though it worked more sensiblyon his nearer image. . "4. Another of my doubts was because my grief and humiliation were no greater, and because I could weep no more for this. But I understood at last that God breaketh not all men's hearts alike, and that thegradual proceedings of his grace might be one cause, and my nature not apt to weep for other things, another; and that the change ofour heart from sin to God is true repentance, and a loathing of ourselves is true humiliation ; and he that had rather leave his sin, than have leave to keep it, and had rather be the most holy, than have leave to be unholy or less holy, is neither without true repentance, nor the love of God. " 5. Another of my doubts was, because I had, after my change, committed some sins deliberately and knowingly ; and be they never so small, I thought he that could sinupon knowledge and de- liberation had no true grace, and that if I had but had as strong temptations to fornication, drunkenness, fraud, or othermore hainous sins, I might also have committed them. And if these proved that I had then no saving grace, after all that I had felt, I thought it unlikely that I ever should have any. " This stuck with me longer than any ; and the more, because that every sin which I knowingly committed did renew it ; and the terms on which I receive consolation against it are these ; (not as those that think every sin against knowledge doth nullify all our former grace and unregenerate us ; and that every time we repent of such, we have a new regeneration, but) " 1. All-saving grace doth indeed put the soul into a state of enmity to sin as sin, and consequently to every known sin. "2. This enmity Ihust show itself in victory; for bare striving VOL. a. 4
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