422 DIRECTIONS FOR GETTING AND KEEPING please and enjoy him no more, though you were, never so certain of the pardon of sin, and of. salvation. 7. Lastly, Let me ask you one question more; What is the reason that you are so troubled for want of tears for your sin ? Take heed lest there lie some corruption in this trouble that you donot discern. If it be only because your deadness and dullness is your sin, and you would fain have your soul in that frame, in which it may be fittest to please God and enjoy him; then I com- mend and encourageyou in your trouble. But take heed lest you should have any conceit of meritoriousness in your tears ; for that would be amore dangerous sin than your want of tears. And if it be for want of a sign of grace, and because a dry eye is a sign of an unregenerate soul, I have told you, it is not so, except where it only seconds an impenitent heart, and comes from or accompa- nieth an unrenewed will, anda prevailing unwillingness to turn to God by Christ. Show me, if you can, where the Scripture saith, He that cannot weep for sin, shall not be saved, or hath no true grace. Is not your complaint in this the very same that the most eminent Christians have used in all times? That mostblessed, holy man, Mr. Bradford,who sacrificed his life in the flames against Romish abominations, was wont to subscribe his spiritual letters (indited by the breath of the Spirit of God) thus : ' The most miserable, hard-hearted sinner, John Bradford.' Doubt 5. ' 0, but I am not willing to good, and therefore I fear that evenmy will itself is yet unchanged :' I have such a back- wardness and undisposedness to duty, especially secret prayer, meditation, and self-examination and reproving and exhorting sin- ners, that I am fain to force myself to it against my will: It is no delight that I find in these duties that brings me to them, but only I use violence with myself, and am fain to pull myself downon my knees, because I know it is aduty, and I cannot be saved without it ; but I am no sooner on my knees, but I have a motion to rise, or be short, and am weary of, it, and find no great miss of duty when I do omit it.' Answ. 1. This shows that your soul is sick, when your meat goes so much against your stomach that you are fain to force it down : and sickness may well cause you to complain to God and man. But what is this to deadness ! The dead cannot forcedown their meat, nor digest it at all. It seems by this, that you are sanc- tified but in a low degree, and your corruption remains in some strength ; and let that be your sorrow, and the overcoming of it be your greatest care andbusiness: but should you therefore say that you are unsanctified ? It seems that you have still the'flesh lusting against the Spirit, that you cannot do the goodyouwould. When you would pray with delight and unweariedness, the flesh draws
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