178 BAXTER'S DYING THOUGHTS. that alienateth, or is contrary? Let scorners deride us as self -' flatterers, that believe they are God's darlings; and woe to the hypocrites that believe.'it on their false presumption! Without s ?ch belief or grounded hopes, I see not how any man can die in true peace. He that is no otherwise beloved than hypocrites and unbelievers, must have his portion with them. And he that is ne otherwise beloved than as the ungodly, unholy, and unregenerate, shall not stand in judgment, nor see God, nor enter into his king- dom. Most upright souls are to blame for groundless doubting of God's love ; but not for acknowledging it, rejoicing in it, and, in their doubts, being most solicitous to make it sure. Love brought me into the world, and furnished me with a thousand mercies. Love bath provided for me, delivered me, and preserved me, till now ; and will it not entertain my separated soul ? Is God like false or insufficient friends, that forsake us in adversity? I confess that I have wronged love by sin; by many and great unexcusable sins. But all, save Christ himself, were sinners, which love did purify, and receive to glory., God, who is rich in mercy, for the great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins;hath quickened us together with Christ: by, grace we are saved ; and bath raised us up together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus ; Eph. ii. 4 -6. O that I could love much, that have so much forgiven ! The glorified praise himwho loved us, and wash- ed us from our sins in his own blood, and made us kings and priests to God ; Rev. i. 5, 6. Our Father, that hath loved us, giveth us consolation and good hope, through grace ; 2 Thess, ii. 16. I know no sin which I repent not of with self-loathing; and I' ear- nestly beg and labor that none of my-sins may be to me unknown: I dare not justify even what is any way uncertain; though I dare not call all that my sin which siding men, of different judgments, on each side, passionately call so. While both sides do it on con- trary accounts, and not to go contrary ways, is a crime. O that God would bless my accusations to my illumination, that I may not be unknown to myself! Though some think me much better than I am, and others much worse, it most concerneth me to know the truth myself; flattery would be more dangerous to me than false accusations. I may safelier be ignorant of other men's sins than of myown. Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me, Lord, from secret sins, and let not ignorance or error keepme in impenitence ; and keep thou me back from presumptuous sins; Psalm xix. 12, 13. 1 have an advocate with the Father, and thy promise, that he that confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall have mercy. Those are, by some men, taken for my greatest sins, which my most serious thoughts did judge to be the greatest of my outward duties, and which I performed through the greatest
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