228 BAXTER'S DYING THOUGHTS. forsaking all, taking up the cross and following him, I yielded, and covenanted by vow to do it ; but it was by the help of the Holy Spirit, which he promised to give me. I stand, Lord, to my cov- enant; help me to perform it; and give me, though not his present sight, yet some of Peter's . mental apprehensions, and a glimpse, a taste, of that which transported him with delight. Let who will (or who thou wilt) take the riches and grandeur of the world. give me some delightful taste of that which I am made for, re- deemed for, and which thy Spirit bath long taught me to seek and hope for, as my all ! 27. Peter was not weary with the sight of this heavenly appa- rition. Why should I be weary of the believing contemplation of greater things? Though sight affect us mere sensibly than mere believing and thinking, yet these have their happy office, which may be effectual. And Christ, who thus appeared in glory to Peter, hath said, " Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." And Peter himself saith of them that see not Christ, that " They rejoice with joy unspeakable; and full of glory," in believing. O, how unexcusable am I for every weary prayer or meditation of such a glory and for yielding to Satan and a backward heart, which have oft made me shorten these sweet em- ployments, when I had time, and leave, and need,' to lengthen them! What! weary of communion withChrist! weary of speak- ing to my heavenly Father, for endless blessedness, upon such joyful terms of hope as he hath given me ! weary of the thoughts of the city of God, the heavenly society and work ! weary of ex- citing divine love, and exercising it in divine praise, which are the works of angels, and all the'heavenly host! O, how justly might God be, as it were weary of me, and of my weary services ; yea, of the best that I can offer him, which hath in it so much to give him cause ! 28. Peter did not fly from this glorious prospect; but would fain have had more of it, and have dwelt upon the holy mount. And when God will call me to a more glorious vision and fruition in heaven, shall I draw back and be unwilling to go? Was that mount a better place than heaven? Is notChrist now tobe there seen in greater glory ? Is the Jerusalem above, the glorious com-, pany of saints and angels, no better; and more desirable a sight, than Moses and Elias were on the mount? Alas! when we have read, and heard, and thought, and talked so much of heaven, and done and suffered so much for it, that yet we should draw back with fear and unwillingness to go to it ! O, what lamentableweak- ness of faith, and power of flesh, doth this discover ! When I read Peter's words, " It is good to be here," I am grieved that I, who dwell in a world so near like hell, among the implacable
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