330 - A SERMON OP REPENTANCE. (7.) It bringetn him to a delight in God and holiness, and a. de- light in himself, so far as he findeth God and heaven, and holiness within him. He can, 'with some comfort and content, own him- self and his conversation, so far as God (victorious against his car- nal self) appeareth in him. For, as he loveth Christ in the rest of his members, so must he in himself, And this is it that self- loathing doth prepare for. This must be the self-loathing that must afford you comfort, as a penitent people in the way to restoration. 1. Where you see it is implied that, materially, it containeth these common acts. (1.) Accusing and condemning thoughts against ourselves. It is a judging of ourselves, and makes us call ourselves, with Paul, foolish, disobedient, deceived; yea, mad ; (as Acts xxvi.'11.) and with David to say, I have done foolishly; 2 Sam. xxiv. 10. (2.) It containeth a deep distaste and displeas- ure with ourselves, and a.heart rising against ourselves. (3.) As also a holy indignation against ourselves, as apprehending that we have played the enemies to ourselves. and God. (4.) And it possesseth us with grief and trouble at our miscarriages. So that a soul, in this condition, is sick of itself, and vexed with its self- procured woe. , 2. Note, also, that when self-loathingproceedethfrommerecon- viction, and is without the love of God and holiness, it is but the tormentor of the soul, and runs it deeper into sin, provoking men here to destroy their lives ; and in hell it is the never-dying worm. ; 3. Note, also,`that it is themselves that they are said to loathe, because it is ourselves that conscience hath to do with, as witness, and as judge ; it is ourselves that are naturallynearest to ourselves, and our own affairs that we are most concerned in. It. is ourselves that must, have the joy or torment, and, therefore, it is our own ac- tions and estate that we have first to mind. Though yet, as ma- gistrates, ministers, and neighbors, we must next mind others, and must loathe iniquity wherever we meet it, and a vile person must . be condemned in our eyes, while we honor them that fear the Lord ;, Psalm xv. 4. And as by nature, so in the commandment, God hath given to evéryman the first and principal care and charge of himself, and his own' salvation, and consequently of his own ways, so that we may with less suspicion loathe ourselves than others, and are more obliged to do it. 4. Note, also, that it is not for our troubles, or our disgrace, or our bodily deformities, or infirmities, or for our poverty and want, that penitents ate said to loathe themselves, but for their iniquities and abominations. For, (1.) This loathing is a kind of justice done upon ourselves, and therefore is exercised, not for mere in-
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