342 .A SERMON: OF REPENTANCE. delights of a believing soul, in looking to theendless pleasure which we shall have with all the saints and angels in the glorious presence of the Lord ? Was God and glory worth no. more than to be 'cast aside for satiating of an unsatisfiable flesh and fancy, and to be sold for a harlot, for forbidden cup, for a little air of popular ap- plause, or for a burdensome load of wealth and power, for so short a time ? Where is now the gain and pleasure of all my former sins? What have they left but a sting behind them? How near is the time when my departing soul must lookback on alLthe pleas- ures and profits that ever I enjoyed, as a dream when one awak- eth ; as delusory vanities, that have done all for me that ever they 'will do, and all is but to bring my flesh unto corruption, (Gal. vi. S.) and my soul to this distressing grief and fear ! and then I must sing and laugh no more ! I must brave it out in pride no more ! I mustknow the pleasures of the flesh no more ! but be leveled with thepoorest, and my body.laid1in loathsome darkness, and my, soul appear before that God whom Iso willfully refused to obey andhonor. O, wretch that I am! where was my under- standing, when I played so boldly with the flames of hell, the wrath of God, the poison of sin! when God stood by, and yet I sinned ! when 'conscience did rebuke me, and yet I sinned ! when heaven or hell were hard` at hand; and yet I sinned l when, to please my God and save my soul, I would not forbear a filthy lust, or forbidden vanity ofno worth ! when I would not be persuaded to a holy, heavenly, watchful life, though all my hopes of heaven lay on it! I am ashamed of myself; I. am confounded in the re- membrance of my willful, self-destroying folly ! I loathe. myself for all my abominations ! O that I had lived in beggary and rags when I lived in sin ! And O that I had lived with God in a.prison, or in .a wilderness, when I .refused a holy, heavenly life, for the love of a deceitful world ! Will the Lord pardon what is past, I am'resolved through his grace to do so no more, but to loathe that filth that I took for pleasure, and to abhor that sin that I made my sport, and to die to the glory and riches Of the world, which I made my idol ; and to live entirely to that God that I did so long ago 'and 'so unworthily neglect ;' and to seek that treasure, that kingdom, that delight, that will fully satisfy my expectation, and answer all my care and labor, with such infinite advantage. Holi- ness or nothing shall be my work and life, and heaven or nothing shall be my portion and felinity. These are the thoughts, the affections, the breathing of every regenerate, gracious soul. For your souls' sake inquire now, is it thus with you. Or have you thus returned with self-loathing to the Lord, and'firmly engaged your souls to him at your entrance into a holy life ? I must beplain with you, gentlemen, or I shall be unfaithful ; and I must deal closely with you, or I 'cannot deal
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTcyMjk=