LIFE OF FAITH. 437 now be made sensible of. O, then, with what a dreadful view will you look before you and behind you! Behind you, upon time, and say, _' It is gone, and never will return :' and hear conscience ask you how you spent it, and what you did with it. Before you, upon eternity, and say, ' It is corne ;' and to the ungodly will be an eternity of woe. What a peal will conscience then ring in the unbelievers' ears!. `Now, the day is come that I was forewarned of. The day and change. which. I would not believe ! Whither must I now go? what must I now do? what shall I say before the Lord for all the sin that I have willfully committed ? for all the time of mercy which I 'lost ? How shall I answer my con- tempt of Christ? my neglect of means, and enmity to a holy, sérious life ? What a distracted wretchwas I, to condemn and dislike them that spent their lives in preparation for this day ; when now I would give a thousand worlds to be but one of the meanest of them ! O that the churchdoors, and the door of grace, were-open to me now, as once they were, when I refused to enter. Many a time did I hear of this day, and would not believe, or so- berly consider of it. Many a time was I entreated to prepare, and 1 thought a hypocritical, trifling show would have been taken for a sufficient preparation. Now; who must be my. companions? How longmust I dwell with woe and horror? God, by his min- isters, was wont to call to me, ' How long, O scorner, wilt thou delight in scorning ? How long wilt thou go on impenitently in thy folly?' And now I must cry out, 'How long, how long must I feel the wrath of the Almighty ? the unquenchable fire ! the im- mortal worm ! Alas, forever ! When shall I receive one mo- ment's ease? When shall I see one glimpse of hope? O never! never ! never ! Now I perceive what Satan meant in his temp- tations ; what sin intended ; what. God meant in the threatenings of his law; what'grace was good for; what Christ was sent for; and what was the design and meaning of the gospel ; and how I should have valued the offers -and promises of. life. Now I understand what ministers meant, to be so importunate with me for my conversion ; and what was the causethat they would even have kneeled to nie, to have procured my return to God in time. Now I understand that holiness was not a needless thing; that Christ and grace 'deserved better entertainment than contempt; that precious time was worth more than to be wasted idly ; that an immortal soul and life eternal should have been more regard- ed, and not east away 'for so short, -so base .a fleshly pleasure. Now all. these things are plain and open to my understanding ; but, alas ! it is now too late ! I know that now to my woe and torment, which I might have known in time to my recovery and joy.'
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