BAXTER'S DYING THOUGHTS. S7 our common pravity, than is commonly observed. I find that this distrust of God, and my Redeemers bath had too great a hand in my desires of a distincter and more sensible knowledge. I know that I should implicitly, and absolutely, and quietly, trust my soul into my Redeemer's hands.; (of which I must speak more anon ;) and it is notonly for the body,but also for the soul, that a distrustful care is our great sin and misery. But yet we must desire that our knowl- edge and belief may be as distinct and particular as God's revela- tions are ; and we can love no further than we know ; and the more we know of God and glory, themore we shall love, desire and trust him. It is a known, and not merely an unknown God and happi- ness, that the soul doth joyfully desire; and if I may not be ambitious of too sensible and distinct perceptions here, of the things unseen ; yet must I desire and beg : the most fervent and sensible love to them that I am capable of. I am willing (in part) to take up with that unavoidable ignorance, and that low degree of such knowledge, which God confineth us to in the flesh, so be it he will give me but such consolatory foretastes in love and joy, which such a general, imperfect knowledge may consist with, that my soul may not pass with distrust and terror, but with suitable, triumph- ant hopes,to the everlasting pleasures. O Father of lights ! who givest wisdom to them that ask it of thee, shut not up this sinful soul in darkness I leave me not to grope in unsatisfied doubts, at the door of the celestial light ! or, if my knowledge must be general, let it be clear and powerful ; and deny me not now the lively exercise of faith, hope, and love, which are the stirrings of the new .creature, and the dawnings of the everlasting light, and the earnest of the promised inheritance. But we are oft ready to say with Cicero, when he had been reading such as Plato, that, while the book is in our hands, we seem confident of our immortality, and when we lay is by, our doubts return ; so our arguments seem clear and cogent, and yet when we think not of them, with the best advantage, we are oft surprised with fear, lest we should be mistaken, and our hopes be vain; and hereupon (and from the common fear of death, that even good men too often manifest) the infidels gather, that we do but force, ourselves into such a hope as we desire to be true, against the tendency of man's nature, and that we were not made for a better world. But this fallacy ariseth frommen's not distinguishing, 1. Sensi- tive fears from rational uncertainty, or doubts. 2. And the mind that is in the darkness of unbelief, from that which bath the light of faith. I find in myself too much of fear, when I look into eternity, in- terrupting and weakening my desires and joy. But I find that it is VOL. II. 8
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