188 THE SAINT'S REST IS NOT sit down again, and rest where we were ! If we pro- ceed in the cure, and take the creature quite away, then how do we labour, and cry, and pray, that God would restore it, that we may make it our rest again ! And while we are deprived of our former idol, yet rather than come to God, we delight ourselves in the hope of recovering it, and make that very hope our rest : or search about from creature to creature, to find out something to supply the room ; yea, if we can find no supply, yet we will rather settle in this misery, and make a rest of a wretched being, than leave all and come to God. O the cursed averseness of our souls from God ! If any place in hell were tolerable, the soul would rather take up its rest there, than come to God. Y ea, when he is bringing us over to him, and hath convinced us of the worth of his . ways and service, the last deceit of all is here, we will rather settle upon those ways that lead to him, and those ordinances that speak of him, and those gifts which flow from him, than we will come entirely over to himself. Christians, marvel not that I speak so much of resting in these ; beware lest it prove thy own case. I suppose thou art so far convinced of the va- nity of riches, honour, and pleasure, that thou canst' more easily disclaim these ; and it is well if it be so: but the means of grace thou lookest on with less sus- picion, and thinkest thou canst not delight in them too much, especially seeing most of the world despise them, or delight in them too little. I know they must be loved and valued, and he that delighteth in any worldly thing more than in them, is not a Christian. But when we are content with ordinances without God, and had rather be at a sermon than in heaven, and a member of the church here than of the perfect church above, this is a sad mistake. So far let thy soul take comfort in ordinances, as God doth accompany them; remembering, this is not heaven, but the first - fruits. While we are present in the body, we are absent from the Lord ; and while we are absent from him, we are absent from
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