6 .111E NATURE OF mourning, my fasting, my sad humblings, my heavy walking, come to this ? Is my praying, watching, fearing to offend, come to this ! Are all my afflictions, Satan's temptations, the world's scorns and jeers, come to this ? O vile nature, that resisted so much, and so long, such a blessing ! Unworthy soul, is this the place thou comest so unwillingly to? Was duty wearisome? Was the world too good to lose? Didst thou stick at leaving all, denying all, and suffering any thing, for this ? Wast thou loth to die, to come to this ? O false heart, thou hast almost betrayed me to eternal flames, and lost me this glory ! Art thou not ashamed, my soul, that ever thou didst question that love that brought thee hither? that thou vast jealous, of the faithfulness of the Lord ? that thou suspectedst his love, when thou shouldst only bave suspected thyself? that ever thou didst quench a motion of his Spirit? and that thou shouldst misin- terpret those providences, and repine at those ways, which have Such an end? Now thou art sufficiently convinced, that thy Redeemer was saving thee, as well when he crossed thy desires, as when he granted them; when he broke thy heart, as when he bound it up. No thanks to thee, unworthy self, for this received crown ; but to Jehovah, and the Lamb, be glory for ever. 4 12. But oh ! the full, the near, the sweet en- . joyment, is that of love. "God is love, and he that dwelleth in love, dwelleth in God, and God in him. "(n) Now the poor soul complains, " Oh that I could love Christ more !" Then thou canst not choose but love. him. Now thou knowest little of his amiableness, and therefore lovest little: then thine eyes will affect thy heart, and the continual viewing of that perfect beauty will keep thee in continual transports of love. Christians, doth it now stir up your love, to remem- ber all the experiences of his. love ? Doth not kind- ness melt you, and the sunshine of divine goodness warm your frozen hearts! What will it it do then, (n) John iv. 16.
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