810 AN EXAMPLE OF 25. " Indeed, Lord, my soul itself is in a strait, and what to choose I know not ; but thou knowest what to give. To depart, and be with thee, is far bet- ter. But to abide in the flesh seems needful. Thou knowest I am not weary of thy work, but sorrow and sin ; I am willing to stay while thou wilt employ me, and dispatch the work thou hast put into my hands; but, I beseech thee, stay no longer when this is done ; and while I must . be here, let me be still amending and ascending make me still better, and take me at the best. I dare not be so impatient as to importunate thee tó cut off my time, and snatch nee /hence unready ; because I know my everlasting state so much depends on the improvement of this life. Nor would I stay when my work is done; and remain here sinning while my brethren are triumphing. Thy footsteps bruise this worm, while those stars shine in the firmament of glory. Yet I am thy child as well as they ; Christ is my head as well as theirs : why is there then so great a distance ? But I acknowledge the equity of thy ways : though we are all children, yet I am the prodigal, and therefore more fit in this re- mote country to feed on husks, while they are always with thee, and possess thy glory. They were once themselves in my condition, and I shall shortly be in theirs. They were of the lowest form, before they came to the highest ; they suffered before they reigned ; they came out of great tribulation, who are now before thy throne : and shall I not be content to come to the crown as they did ; and to drink of their cup before I sit with them in the kingdom ? Lord, I am content to stay thy time, and go thy way, so thou wilt exalt me also in thy season, and take me into thy barn when. thou seest me ripe. In the mean time I may desire, though r am not to repine; I may believe and wish, though not make any sinful haste ; Ì am willing to wait for thee, but not to loose thee and when thou seest me too contented with thine absence, then quicken my lan- guid desires, and blow up the dying spark of love ; and leave me not till I am able unfeignedly to cry out, As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my
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