Chap. 14.1 HEAVENLY CONTEMPLATION. 223 their eyes." Ohappy, a thousand times happy souls ! Alas, that I must dwell in sinful flesh, when my brethren and com- panions dwell with God ! How far out of sight and reach of their high enjoyment do I here live ! What poor feeble thoughts have I of God ! What cold affections toward him ! How little have I of that life, that love, that joy, in which they continually live ! How soon doth that little depart, and leave me in thicker darkness ! Now and then a spark falls upan my heart, and, while I gaze upon it, it dies, or ra- ther my cold heart quenches it. But theyhave their " light in his light," and drink continually at the spring of joys. Here we are vexing each other with quarrels, when they are of one heart and voice, and daily sound forth the hallelujahs of heaven with perfect harmony. O what a feast bath my faith beheld, and what a famine is yet in my spirit ! O blessed souls! I may not, I dare not, envyyour happiness; I rather rejoice in my brethren's prosperity, and am glad to think of the day when I shall be admitted into your fellowship. Iwish not to displace you, but to be so happy as to be with you. Why must I stay, and weep, and wait ? My Lord is gone : He hath left this earth, and is entered into his glory ; my brethren are gone ; my friends are there ; my house, my hope, my all, is there. When I am so far distant from my God, wonder not what aileth me, if I now complain; an ignorant Micahwill do so for his idol, and shall not my soul do so for the living God ? Had. I no hope of enjoyment, I would go and hide myself in the deserts., and lie and howl in some obscure wilderness, and spend my days in fruitless wishes ; but since it is the land of my promised rest, and the state I must myself beadvanced to, and mysoul draws near, and is almost at it, I will love and long, I will look and de- sire, I will be breathing, " How long, Lord ! how long wilt thou suffer this soul to pant and groan, and not open to him who waits, and longs to be with thee !" Thus, Christian reader; let thy thoughts aspire, till thy soul longs, as David, 4' O that one would give me to drink of the wells of salva- tion!" And till thoueanst say as he did, " I have longed for thy salvation, O Lord !" And as the mother and brethren of Christ, when they could not come at him, because of the multitude, sent to him, saying, " Thy mother and brethren stand without, desiring to see thee ;" so let thy message to him be, and he will own thee; for he bath said, " They
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