QÁ4 CONTEMPLATION [Chap. 16. what are they to the everlasting views of the God of truth ? Thy friends here have been thy delight, and have they not also been thy vexation and grief ? They are gracious, and are they not also sinful ? They are kind, and are they not soon displeased ? They are humble, but, alas i how proud also ! Their graces are sweet, and their gifts helpful ; but are not their corruptions bitter, and their imperfections hurt- ful ? And art thou so loath to go from them to thy God ? " O my soul, look above this world of sorrows ! Hast thou so long felt the smarting rod of affliction, and no better understood its meaning ? Is not every stroke to drive thee hence ? Is not its voice like that toElijah, ' What dost thou here ?' Dost thou forget thy Lord's prediction? ' In the worldye shall have tribulation ; inme ye may have peace !' Ah, my dear Lord, I feel thy meaning ; it is written in my flesh, engraved in my bones. My heart thou aimest at; thy rod drives, thy silken cord of love draws ; and all to bring it to thyself. Lord, can such a heart be worth thy having ? Make it worthy, and then it is thine ; take it to thyself, and then take me. This clod hath life to stir, but not to rise. As the feeble child to the tender mother, it looketh up to thee, and stretcheth out the hands, and fainwould have thee take it up. Though I cannot say, ' My soul longeth after thee ;' yet I can say, I long for such a longing heart. i The spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.' My spirit cries, ' Let thy kingdom come,' or let me come to thy kingdom; but the flesh is afraid thou shouldst hear myprayer, and take me at my word. O blessed be thy grace, which makes use of my corruptions to kill themselves ; for I fear my fears, and sor- row for my sorrows, and long for greater longings ; and thus the painful means of attaining my desires increase my weariness, and that makes me groan to be at rest. " Indeed, Lord, my soul itself is in a strait, and what to choose I know not ; but thou knowest what to give : ' to depart and be with thee, is far better ;' but ' to abide in the flesh seems needful.' Thou knowest I am not weary of thy work, but of sorrow and sin ; I am willing to stay while thou wilt employ me, and despatch the work thou hast put into my hands ; but, I beseech thee, stay no longer when this is done ; and while I must be here, let me be still amending and ascending; make me still better, and take me at the best. I dare not be so impatient, as to importune thee
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