Chap. 16.E EgEiKi't,rFIED. 265 to cut off my time, and snatch me hence unready ; because I knowmy everlasting state so much depends on the im- provement of this life. Nor would I stay when my work is done ; and remain here s'inning, while my brethren are tri- umphing. Thy footsteps bruise this worm, while those stars shine in the firmament of glory. Yet I am thy child as well as they ; Christ is my Head as well as theirs ; why is there, then, so great a distance ? But I acknowledge the equity of thy ways ; though we are all children, yet I am the pro- digal, and therefore more fit in this remote country to feed on husks, while they are always with thee, and possess thy glory. They were once themselves in my condition, and I shall shortly be in theirs. They were of the lowest form, be- fore they came to the highest ; they suffered, before they reigned ; they ' came out of great tribulation, who are now before thy throne f and shall I not be content to come to the crown as they did; and to ' drink of their cup, before I sit with them in the kingdom?' Lord, I am content to stay thy time, and go thy way, so thou wilt exalt me also in thy season, and take me into thybarn, when thou seest me ripe. In the meantime, I may desire, though I am not to repine; I may believe andwish, though not make any sinful haste ; Iam willing to wait for thee, but not to lose thee ; and when thou seest me too contentedwith thine absence, then quicken my languid desires, and blow up the dying spark of Iove; and leave me not until I am able unfeignedly to cry out, ' As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God ? My con- versation is in heaven, from whence I look for a Savior. My affections are set on things above, where Christ sitteth, and my life is hid. I walk by faith, and not by sight ; will- ing rather to be absent from the body, and present with the Lord.' " What interest hath this empty world in me ; and what is there in it that mayseem so lovely as to entice my desires from my God, or make me loath to come away ? Methinks, when I look upon it with a deliberate eye, it is a howling wilderness, and too many of its inhabitants are untamed monsters. I can view all its beauty and deformity ; and drown all its pleasures in a few penitent tears ; or the wind ofa sigh will scatter them away. O let not this flesh so se- 12
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