76 MISERY OF THOSE WHO [Chap. 5. quered those persuasions. What workings were in my heart, when a faithful minister pressed home the truth ! O how fair was I once for heaven ! I almost had it,,and yet I have lost it. Had I followed on to seek the Lord, I had now been blessed among the saints." It will exceedingly torment them to remember their lost opportunities. " How many weeks, and months, and years, did I lose, which if. I had improved, I might now have been happy ! Wretch that I was ! could I find no time to study the work, for which I had all my time ? no time, among all my labors, to labor for eternity ? Had I time to eat, and drink, and sleep, and none to save my soul ? Had I time for mirth and vain discourse, and none for prayer ? Could I take time to secure theworld, and none to try my title to heaven ? 0 precious time ! I had once enough, and now I must have no more. I had once so much, I knew not what to do with it; and now it is gone, and cannot be recalled. 0 that I had but one of those years to liveover again ! how speedily would I repent ! how earnestly would I pray ! how diligently would I hear ! how closely would I examine my state ! how strictly would I live ! but it is, now too late, alas ! too late." It will add to their calamity to remember how often they werepersuaded to return. "Fain would the minister have had me escape these torments. With what love and com- passion did he beseech me ! and yet I did but make ajest of it. How oft did he convince me ! and yet I stifled all these convictions. How did he open to me my very heart !. and yet I was loath to know the worst of myself. O how glad would he have been, if he could have seen me cor- dially turn to Christ ! My godly friends admonished me ; they told me what would become of my wilfulness and negligence at last ; but I neither believed nor regarded them. How long did God himself condescend to entreat me ! How did the Spirit strive with my heart, as if he was loath to take a denial ! How did Christ stand knocking, one Sabbath after another, and crying to me, a Open, sin- ner, open thy heart to thy Savior, and I will come in and sup with thee, and thou with me ! Why dost thou delay How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee ? Wilt thou not be pardoned, and sanctified, and made happy ? When shall it once be ?" 0 how the recollection of such 41111111MINIIII
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