Part.2.Chap.. I I. ~jfliEled (onflitnceJ,. ~ no\\ ?This pei'hlent old pollution,which fo wofully wafied my Confcience in time pafi, hath fearefully~ re-infetl:ed my newly wa{hed Soule: I have againe, Woe is me 1 fallen into theabhotTed Sodome of this foule finne: I have grieved that good Spirit, which was lately come w dwell in me. All the former horronrs charge afrdh upon my heart, from which I W:JS happily freed, even by fame glimpfesof heavenly joy : 1 have wretchedly let goe my hold; loft my peace, broke my vowes. and bklfed communion with my God,&c. Ah ! wretch that Jam,what fhalll doe? And thereupon may fall upon a temptation of returning to his difavowed fenfuall Delights,out ofthis conceit, AsWell over boots .u 6Vtr fooocs: Do what I can, 1 fee I can never hold out,&c. Or hee may pl~nge into this flavifh perplexity ; I dare not goe to God, I ha,veufed him fo villanoufly after fud1 immeaiurable kindnelfe;. and provoked the eyes of hi& glory, with fuch prodigious impurity,. . ~ftcr I was purged. I dare not fall againe to goodfellow fhip and former courfes, left I draw feme remarkeable vengeance upon me in the meane time, and be certainely damned, when I have done : So · that hee can neither take pleafure upon the right hand or the left : Or, whicn is moO: for my purpofe,. and that which th~ Divell-fpecially defires, God therefore may hide his face from him, and l~ave him to the darkneffe ofhis owne fpirit; fo that 'hee· mc.y foralongtimewalke on heavily, O:arke lame,. in refpect ofthofe comfortable fupporters of the ~oule; affiance, hope,ipirituall joy,peace o_fConfci~ enc~,fenfe of Gods £wour, boldnelfe in his wayes, , courage in good caufes3 delight in the company o£ the ~aints,&c. Su~h a dampe alfo,and defertion may come upon the Soule,efpecially after a fall into fome new, open, fcandalous finne; whereby not onely their 01vn Confciences within are grievoufly wounded,. .·
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