102 MEMOIRS OF PERIOD,VII. in a few words, with more than ordinaryconfidence and flayed- nefs of mind, earneftly pleading the promifes of his covenant. I had written but the heads of my fermon, began with a preface, knowing of little to fay ; but God wrapped me up in it ; I had no more to dobut fpeak. O it was fweet, fweet! Far, more fweet is the Lord himfelf. It continued with me in the fermon. . O he is good, he is good toa vile nothing, yea, worfe than nothing! O to .trufl him ! I found byboth thefe fermons folid love to Chrift in my heart. He was not wanting to me in the evening-exer- cife ; he was a commentator to me ; while I was finging his praifes, he Chewed me the fweetnefs of his name, while I. dif- courfed on it, " the Lord Jefus Chrift." Every letter of it was written in gold. But before that exercife I, had a temptation, which had almoft maftered me, till I went to God with it. On Monday the 29th, one came and offered me L. 50 Scots in loan ; which I yielded to take, on condition I might keep.it two years. On the morrow I found myfelf, by too much fleep, unfitted for work and fervice ; and withal was inwardly checked for not having vifited the families again, before that time. At night, at the meeting for prayer, I got a little revival again, which I think I flept away in the Wednefday morning, whereof I have had feveral fad experiences. Howbeit, that day I vifited fome families. My method in vifitation was this : I made a particu- lar application of my'doétrine in the pulpit to the family, exhort- ed them to lay thefe things to heart, viz. their natural Elate, and their need of Chrift ; exhorted them to fecret prayer, fuppofing they kept family-worfhip; urged their relative duties, &co; prayed with them, and made the mailer of the family to pray; (Note, I think this laft might have been as,well forborn.) Tho there was little religion among them, there was more than I ex- ppeôted ; and perhaps my labour was not altogether in vain in the Lord. But my frame not beinggood, I left that work the fooner, and betook myfelf to ray finches. Feb. 1. Having gone wrong again, I was a while flupid and unconcerned, till I thought more deeply on the guilt, and then I found my confidence with God much marred, and rather a going away from him under the flings of confcience; than drawingnigh to him. At fait I went to prayer, and laid out my cafe before the Lord ; yet was I very little quieted. I went and faw a fick man, and, by converfe with him, I attained fome advantage, and got my heart calmed andbettered, by fpeaking to the commenda- tion of Chrift as the belt portion. I am amazed at the bafenefs ofmy heart, that can keep fo thort while right, and am many times afraid my religion is of the wrong flame. But that which fupports me is, that in a calm mood I findmyfelffomewhat emp- tied of myfelf, admiring the riches of free grace if ever the Lord Thew me mercy, and juftifying him ifI perifh ; flowing from the hatred I bear to myfelf for thefe things. And how gladly I would bewarmed to the image of Chrift, Lord, thouknoweft.
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