1700. MR THOMAS BOSTON. 113 eared ; and fo thereafter endeavoured to hope again{t hope, fome- times finking, fometimes fwimming. That day I went to Duníe, in great diftrefs of fpirit, to fee Mr Colden, with whom I could ufe fome freedom with ref'pe& to my cafe. Being there, in Mr Colden's houfe, and there meeting with tome of the godly people of Bolwarth, my mouth, according to my then heavy cafe, was filled with complaints in converfe with them. This Mr Colden did wifely fignify to me to be unfafe, in refpe6t of the difcourage- ment it might occaion to them, confidering my ftation and chara&ter. Howbeit the particular caute of my heavinefs I dif= covered not to them, nor to him neither : but from that diftrefs I was not recovered till the 25th of the forefaid month ofMarch: at which time I was mercifully fet to my feet again ; though in a little time the clouds returned after the rain. March 26. Having had a good day yefterday, I was like to lofe all again this day, andhad a ftruggle that way. I retired, and pleadedwith the Lord as my covenanted God in fuch manner, as pinching want makes men refolute ; and was kept up. March 28. This day being a fáft-day, the Lordwas very gracious to me. It was Tweet to confider what meafure of folidity and firmnefs in believing the Lord had given me as to what I had been preaching, and how he had given me feveral of thole fuits I had before him on Monday Tait the 25th. I had a great deal of confidence in prayer this night ; for God is my covenanted God. O ! my foul was filled with joy and peace in believing ; and I thought I had a feaft. Afterwards great fears of temptation feized me, left Satan fhould steal a dint of me ; wherefore I communed with myfelf out of the fsriptures, and got anfwers to all the rea- fons of my fears, till my heart was calmed, and firengthened in the Lord.. When I had paifed the difficult ftep fafely, my mouth was filled with praifes ; and I raw rnyfelf infinitely indebted to free grace, that fhould thus give fuch anfwers of prayer, for I had earneftly prayed againft it. O that was a fweet word to me Monday's night, " I will give her the valley of Achor for a door of hope," and yet is fo. April 3. Being in great diftrefs, I wrote a letter to Mr Colden, the only minifter in the country to whom I could unbofom my- fell: but the letter was brought back, he not being at home ; and fo I was difáppointed. The laid letter is as follows. It is like you will he defirous to know how it ítands with me now, confidering the cafe I was in when I Taw you laft. I can indeed give you but a very lorry account of matters. I am a man who, I think; have few, if any marrows in the world. I am often at that with it, that I know not what to think of my- ' fell, or ofmy 'late ( it is only to yourfelf that I unbofommy poor Pelf, andverily my need preffeth me). All that week when I few you, my fad cafe continued, till the nest, being eftranged from the life of God. So this day fourteen days it pleaded the,Lord tolend a sharp rod ---, and I behaved to lay
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTcyMjk=