118 MEMOIRS OF PERIOD VII. May 5. being the Lord's day. Having been at Bárhill, after I came to Edinburgh there were great rains, lb that I was afraid the waters would not let me fee Simprin on the Lord's day; but I thought it my duty to adventure, if by any means I could reach home. So I came from Edinburgh yefterday after nine of the clock, and came home that night. And this day I was very much owned of God in my work, and nothing rnore,wearied by myjourney. O but I faw the way of duty croflìnr peoples eafe, a fafe way. The week followingI grew fecure. I wanted not many checks for my fpiritual (loth, -fo as horror bath taken hoi.d on me, under apprehenfions of fome ftroke to come for this : yet was I as a drunken man, incapable to put himfelf out of the way of the cart» wheels. I alto had fome flafhes ofa frame, but paffr.g. On the Lord's day morning, worldly thoughts were as birdlime to my feet ; but preaching about the general judgement, I faw the Lord in his glory, and got a fight of my own vilenefs : and after fer- pions, under that impreflìon, fecret fins, fins of the heart, were very heavy. And I may fay I hâd no power to bring the fub- fcribed covenant out of my trunk, though tbmetimes I had refolu- tions that way. May 26. Sabbath, being to preach at Greenlaw, my heart in themorningwas in frame ; which decayed again ; but I was revived by hearing force things, that filled my heart with zeal. (N. B. I think it has been fume things ill.) O then I thought preaching would have come ready by hand tome. Yet when I Went to the pulpit, I was to feek. But in prayer I got my heart lively and compofed again ; and had light and life there. June 2. I found this day I had much more liberty in prayer than preaching. After thework was over, while in myclofet, it pleated the Lord palpably to put in his hand at the hole of the door, and move my heart towards him ; and a ftrange melting there was on my heart, while a neighbour familywas tinging the Lor 's praifes. So I found this night another reiifh in God's werd than ordinary, particularly Pfal. lxxxix. 9. -13: Being to fpend fume time in prayer to-morrow, I intreated the Lord would keep me for what he had given me, and I was free of tormenting fears of lofing it. June 5. Studying a fermon for the faft before the communion at Fogo, I had exceeding much of God's countenance in it; I had much light from the Lord, and the matter had weight on my own fpirit. On the morrow I preached it ; and though I had force tendernefs in the morning, it was not fo favoury to me in preaching as in Undying. I found myfelf the worfe of being haftened in the delivery. June 9. Lord's day. When I was yefterday Undying the fer- mons,I preached this day, I could have no fatisfa&ion in them ; but could not make them better. I reviewed them this morning, but with as little ; and thought they would not do. I went to the churchwith fuch.thoughtsas myprefent circunntances brought-
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