122 MEMOIRS OP PERIOD VII, and having been out in a garden with her, and conveyed her into the houfe thereafter, I went hack to the fame place ; it was in Barhill in the orchard ; and there 1 had a fweet while of converfe with God in prayer, in a fweet hungering frame. My foul was much fatisfied in the Lord ; and in that place, I will fay, I met with God, and there hefpoke with me. We were together about three or four days at this time ; and the upfhot of all was, that I was made often to biers God that ever I was acquainted with her. I underftood feveral things at this and other times, that in this matter the had aéted as a Chriftian, and as under influence of light from the Lord. May 26. I was now toffed with fcruples and doubts as to,my marriage. I thought on it, but found no outgate.' I went to God, particularly for light in that matter, which was now over- clouded, and earneftly begged it. I found in prayer my heart going out in love to Chrift, &c. as I have noted before, p. 63. June 5. After I had been writing to her, that word, Pfal. exxxviii. ult. " The Lord will perfeát that which 'concerneth. " me," came with fuch power as difpelled there doubts; and I was helped to believe that God would order things for my good in that matter. On the 12th, I examined the light I had got in that point, andhad helpof Durham on confcience. And I found my light in that matter, 1. was from the word, and preffed me to the thing, as agreeable to the word, and carried me on to it as duty towards God ; 2. It had another kind ofauthorityand state- liners with it than light affeEtion, or paflions ; it overpoweredmy worldly-mindednefs, difcontent, &c. and this very remarkably. And my heart bears me witnefs, that it had influence on me to humble and abafe me in the fight of God. Whence it appears, that it was my duty before ; and if then, now too, feeing no new thing has occurred. Whateveraffe&ion I have to her, if my heart deceive me not, I would facrifice my inclinations to the command of God. Feb. 22. 1700. There was a confiderable time I had not heard from my friend, which bred me much perplexity : but the Lord took that way to rebuke me for my mifmanagements. He drew me by it nearer himfelf, and put me to a holy fubmißïon. And the efle& of it was, I was more confirmed in the bufinefs ; and when I was weaned, and brought to (loop toprovidence, he (hew- ed me that the fears were groundlefs. March 25. I had been for Ibme time before this, and was fill, under a very dead and drowfy frame offpirit.e I was (ore racked with various thoughts, and had a (harp exercife of it that night, and next day efpecially. I therefore refolved, against Monday, to let tome time apart for fatting and prayer, that I might get that devil cart out of my heart. So the Sabbath palled, and 1 walked halting ; my cafebeing foafter fermon, that if my head had been to have been (truck off, I could not have given it a name. The removal then of that fpiritual indifpofitionwas the chief caufe of
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