1700 MR THOMAS BOSTON. 125 the gofpel; 7. That we may live loofe toone another, ready to part on a call ; and that God world provide things neceflàry for our through- bearing ; laftly, That I may be fpared with her a while ; and if I be taken away, fhe may not be left deftitute, but -God may be her tutor. Secondly, Viótory over corruption. Thirdly, Succefs in my "minifiry. Laftly, Preparation for the fait at Fogo. Thefe things I earneftly fought of the Lord ; and as I went on, I won very near God, attaining to familiarity and confidence with the Lord ; fo that I was made to blet the day I fet about this work, My heart and flefh were all aloft towards Chrift. A.fter,I had come from that exercire, in the afternoon I received a letter from her, wherein the fhowed me force piece of exercife fhe was under, and the prevalency of unbelief with her, with fómething importing fears of approaching death. This did fomewhat anrufe me, and made me wonder what might be the language of it to me. I had prayed for a token of the Lord's ac- cepting this fervice, and this .feewed not to be fuck. But, on further confideration, I found 1 had no great reafon to complain, but ratherto blef's theLord, who made her careful of her falvation, and exercifed with her own heart at fuck a junétuie. And 1 had liberty with the Lord on her account. As for the fears of ap- proaching death, it is like God has tent it to ballait me, and keep me watchful ; and I am the Lord's, let him do what feemeth him good. I found my heart lait week, and at this time, more clear in the fight of the world's vanity, and going more after be- ing with Chrift, which I fee is belt of all, than a good while be- fore. Her cafe and my own fent me fometimes to God. But at night I grew fo very apprehenfive of her death, that my ballait was like to fink me. I ¡trove to encourage ,myfelf, but nothing would effectually do. But I faw the caufe of it.` And on the morrow morning fo was it with me, ftill I funk, when I thought on it; fo eafily was I overcome after filch kind dealing.. It fent me again and again to theLord. (N. B. See how Providence filled up what I had molt unaccountably forgot in thecaufes above, mentioned : for what reafon can be given, that when I had made it one of my errands to God, that 1 might be fpared with her, that I should not alto with that been concerned that the might be fpared with me ?). I behoved to go to the prefbytery ; and I won but fo far above it, as to lef it be only ballait to my heart, and to make me watchful, and prepare for whatever fhould come. And fo it proved very ufeful to me this day both abroad and at home. And fo was it the next day while itudying the fermon for Fogo. June S. I minded to declare my purpofe to two of the elders, and went to God on that head ; but was very dull in my frame ; but one of them could not be got. So I delayed to this day; at which time it was better withme. So that I came to them with confidence in God, leaning on and getting rife made of that word Which God faid to me before I came to Simprin, " The eternal No. 4. Q
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