1700. MP THOMAS BOSTON. 127 June 30. This day was a good day. I got my heart earneft for Gods pretence, and I wanted neither light nor life in my work. And fin wing a particular fubjei)t that day, my foul was affected and melted with the people's cafe. July 9. This day I fòund myself under a great decay again but difcourfing with a good lad, he had occafian to (peak of thefe two fcriptures, " 'Truly God is good to Israel," upon which I feemed to have a fight of the Lord's goodrefs ; and that, " If " thy pretence go not «ith me, carry us not up hence;" which had fucfi an irnpreífion on me, that upon it I had Tome revival. But by my careleífnefs it flipped away, and great darkneth and hardnefs of heart fucceeded A whrte after thefe feemed to be going away but neither was that right guided ; and then I was carried quite oft' my feet. On the morrow efpeciaily, I faw my confidence' with God was quite marred, and fin lay heavy on foul and cónfcience. And though I ('pent a good part of the day, the weary day, to falling and player, the Lord would not hear me, neither could I win to any inettednefs of heart : only ( had tor- menting light without life. Afterwards Mr G R-- came; but I was iudifpofed both in body and mind, heavy and melan- choly, unfit for any thing whattbever. Yet at length, while I lifted up my dtjetted eyes to the Lord, and we converted about the meafare of hunìiliation requifite in a firmer before he can come to (Thrift,. concerning feif-condemnation, &c...I found I fooke ' only what I felt. So in the very time while we thus walked up and down, and difcouried, the Lord looted the poor prisoner; my heart looted, and my bands were taken off. And I obfcrved my body grew better, when the cure was begun in my ford. Afterwards I went to God, poured out my foul before him like water, with grief for fin, and confidence of his mercy. And then I was helped to wreille in earned with God for his prefence tobe with me with refpeet to my bufinels. By the Lord's deal- ing thus feverely with me, I had a fight of the excellency of Chrilt ; and when I -won near God, O but my foul prized Chrift as the Mediator, and way to the Father; and my heart. was in love. with the doctrine of the gofpel, even free 'grace. I (pent forme time thereafter in the fields meditating, with a deep fenfe of my own vilenei's. On the morrow I had real ftruggling ere I could gel my heart right, but not without fuccefs. I íä.wnothing defìrable in the world but Chrift and ordinances. And T had much of the felt pretence of God in preaching my fermon, (it be- ing Thurtday.) Thereafter, in fecret, I found my confidence in the Lord was enlarged, as to what is before nfe, and otherwife ; and my foul was affeéted with a fenfe of my milery and nothing- nefs : but bleffed be the Lord for his kindnefs to vile nie. July 11. Towards night 1 met with a fweet fèa(bnable pro- vidence, which enlarged my heart in thankfulnefs to God, en- couraging me in the bufinelis before me, and making me fet up another Ebenezer. Thereafter meditating in the fields, I was Q 2
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