146. MEMOIRS O,P PERIOD VIII. whereupon I concluded, that few would ' wait upon it>.: The temptation fpread to feveral other things, as that none of my neighbours did fo, &c. Neverthelefs the people came very fre- quent to it ; and the Lórd Bruck the bottomout of my difcou- ragernent, by giving me more than ordinary of his prefence in the fermon ; fo that I would not for any thing have given it over. This has often been my temptation ; and thus ordinarily theLord delivered meout of it. On the 27thof January, the facrament wasadminiftered again. Before I propofed it to the elderfhip, I fpent fame time in fecret prayer with falling, and faw it my duty to infift in that way, though the entry to it had been very hard. The day being con- defcended on by the feflion, and Mr Colden written to, for afï'ift- ance, but the day not being publicly intimated, my daughter fell very ill of that difeafe her brother died of'laft year. This was a heavy exercife to me : what to do, I knew not. Should I go on, and the child die at this .time, then íáid my heart, " What wilt " thou do to thy great name?" My good will be evil fpoken of, which the Lord knòws I intended for his-;glory, and the refrefh- ment of his people in the country- fide. It will be thought tefti- fied againft by the Lord.lrirnfelf and it will be faid, thatwhat mall could not hinder me to do, God would ; and fo my defign- will be broken, and I brokenby it. On the other hand, thought I,. will the neglect of duty preferve my child, or fit me for bearing the lofs of her? Again therefore I went to God, by prayer with falling ; and ftill my cry was, " What wilt thou dò to thy great ". name ?" At lengthI was led to think, Why am I thus conti- nually crying, What wilt thou do to thy great name ?" cannot God provide for his glory, though I cannot fee how, even though my former tragical affliétion be re-acted? It is my duty; I will venture ; let the Lord do what feemeth him good. So I inti- mated the diet fourteen days before. And it pleafed the Lord, that my child began to recover quickly after, my fears were dif- pelled, and the Lord did more for me that way than I could have expeCted in fo íhort a time. I do not remember that ever I gave the facrament, but I had fome trying aflliétion in my way, either from the congregation, or otherwife, Satan being on my top be- fore or after. I had readily always fomething to thruít through violently ere I could ;get at it. Since December 1704, I have preached on the epiftle to the church of the Laodiceans ; and atthe two laft facraments I chang- ed not my ordinary. At the facrament in June 1705, the 18th verfe, Rev. iii. fell to be. the ordinary, and the action-fermon clofed my difcourfe on that verfe. One way and another I was held on the 19thverfe, fo that the preparation-ferrraons for the fa- crament in January1706 fell in the ordinary on thefe words, ver. 20. " If any man open to me, I will come in to him," and the aétion- iermon on thefe, And Will fup with him, and he with " nie." I and others of the congregation could not but marl{,
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