160 MEMOIRS OF PERIOD VIII. (hoot an arrow of wrath fuddenly into my foul, which pierced my foul and body both ; fo that a great weaknefs, and an ex- ceeding great heat, went through my body in a moment. It lofted not long ; butI think, it' it had lafted a while longer, I had been a moft miferable fpeéÌacle. When it came on, at firft I was tempted to rife from prayer, and flee from the prefence of the Lord, and had much ado to refift ; but God in mercy determined me to another way, even to flee under the covert of the blood of Chrift, that only (better from the terror of God,.and that even to thofe that had crucified him : and fo I held by there. fcriptures, 1 John i. 7. Heb. ix. 14. Thefe drops of wrath came in on me, with a conviélion of guilt darted into my fpirit, viz. that, in that prayer aforetáid, I had not fuitable affections to that petition, " Even fo come, Lord Jefus, come quickly," which was the Taft petition in it. And in a moft compofed tem- per of mind, .retlecting on it, I fee clearly, that God left me in that, and that that petition was the product of my own fpirit. This let me fee,, that my belt duties behove to be waffled in the blood of the Lamb, elfe they, even they will damn me. After dinner, Pinging with my family a part of If. xxxv. that word, ver. 8. " And an high way thall be there,though fools Thal( " not err therein," was very fweet to me, with refpecî to the bufinefs of Etterick. I went up immediately to my clofet, and meditating, I again got a broad fight of the filthinefs of my belt duties, and the abfolute need of their being wathed in the blóòd of Chrift ; law myfelf moft unworthy to touch the veffels of the Lord ; and that I might roll myfelf in the duft, when the glorious gofpel was to be, preached. This helped me to pray. I have fometimes withed for Tome drops of wrath, to awaken me out of a fecurè frame ; but I found one drop, one arrow, intolerable. Who knows the power of his wrath? Tongue cannot exprefs it. O precious Chrift! O precious blood ! Horror and defpair had fwallowed me up; had it not been that blood, the blood of God. I obferve now, that, according to my defign formerly laid down, I was to have preached on watching this day ; but the Lord with- held me, and led me to this text; as alto that the Lord gave a fpirit of prayer in the private faft before the facrament, and this morningalfo. Thefe were tokens of good. But the Lord has been at pains to hide pridefrommy eyes. O that I never faw it more Feb. 10. This morning coming, in prayer, to the bufinefs of Etterick, I thought I faw myfelf befet with promifes, If. xxxv. 8. Prov. iii. 6. Pfal. xxv. 9. and xxxii. 8, 9. and cvii. ult. and my foul was raifed to a dependence on the Lord. At night, fear and darknefs feized on me again, being in company ; but by prayer I was raifed up again to dependence. There is no keep- ing foot without new fupplies from the Lord. Feb. 12. Concerning that bufinefs, which lies very near my heart, and fo much the more as the time of its determination
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