1707. MR THOMAS BOSTON. 167 yet I knew not what hand to turn me to ; and I have found, for ordinary, when I fought light in this affair, my firft care was ftill for Chrift himfelf, efteeming himfelf far above light,. &c. and now at laft I have won at this refolution, in the ufe of means for clearnefs, fo that I was afraid this day to harp any more on that ftring, left I flmuld with Balaam tempt God ; and feeing, upon. the attaining of that clearnefs as to my duty, my foul has been made thankful to the Lord for his goodnefs and condefcendencè to me in this matter, I mutt and will conclude, that this refolu tion is of God : and having examined rnyfelf again as to the world's influence, I dare fay, and Laid it, before the Lord, that (in his ftrength) ten thoufand worlds fhould never have engaged me. After all, I fàty my cafe in Pfal. xl. 1. 5. and I behoved to fing it ; and fo I did with a thankful heart, from ver. 1. to 9. And blefled be God for Chrift ; thanks to the Lord for his un- fpeakable gift. I biefs hirn, that the ellca of all this is to make me prize Chrift ; and therefore, when I thought I had done, I was obliged to go back again, and, as Í was able, to biefs God for Chritt ; and O that I may have the advantage of an eternity to praife him in! As to the facrarnent of Meirofe (p. 198.), which was laft fum- mer, the letter inviting me to it was given to me only on the Thursday before, when I was preaching at 'Eccles, being the tlrft- day before the communion there. This ftraitened me for time to think on it, and prepare for it, if I fhould go. Mr L. had delired me to come thither again the Lord's dáy, after I had preached at home, to help there. I endeavoured to fee my duty, andftudied for Meirofe on the Friday, in cafe I fhould go there. But on Friday's night I went to bed, hill in the dark as to my duty. Wherefore I rote early on Saturday morning, wreftled for light till betwixt f,ven and eight o'clock; but could not know what to do. That Which helped to difficult me was, that it waS in Selkirk prefbyt:ery, and that fome of the people of Etterick might be there. This darknefs diftreffed me exceedingly, both in body and mind ; wherefore giving it over, I went to bedagain to refrefh my body. A little after I role again ; and, feeking the Lord, refolved to take my horfe : fo I went away, not knowingr whither I was going, whether I would càme home again, or flay at Eccles, or go forward to Melrofe. But by the way the light began to break, to fend me to Meliofe; and withal had hope's; that, at Eccles, I would meet with that which would fully clear. me what to do. And fo indeed it carne to pafs, and I was de= termined fully ere the fermons began. So I Raid there, and heard fermons; but after fermons, with áh flieed; waiting on no perfon, being refolved not to entangle myl'elf, or call myfelf into a new fnare, I took horfe, andcame to Meirofe betwixt fever and eight at night. I preached on the Lord's day arid Mònday ; and the Lord w.s`with nie efpeciafly on the`'Lord's day. There No. 4. X
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