1709. MR THOMAS BOSTON. 197 the myftery of renouncing my own wifdom, which I reckon but weaknefs and folly. t. I know and am perfuaded, that I am a loft creature ; that juftice mutt be fatisfied ; that I am not able to fátisfy it, nor no creature for me ; that Chrift is able, and his death and fufferings are fufficient frtisfaction. On this I throw my foul with its full weight ; here is my hope and only con- fidence. My duties, I believe the belt of them, would damn, me, fink me to the lowett pit, and mutt needs, be wafhed in that precious blood, and can have no acceptance withGod but through his interceffion. I delire to have nothing to do with an abtblute God, nor to converfe with God but only through Chrift. I aua fenfible that I have nothing to commend me to God, nor to Chrift, that he may take my caufe in hand. If he fhould damn nre, he Mould dó me no wrong, But the cord of love -is let ont, even the covenant in his blood ; 1 accept of it, and at his command lay hold on it, and venture. This is faith in feite of devils. And my heart is pleated with the glorious device of man's titiva- tion through. Chrift, carrying all the praile to free grace, aaid leaving nothing of it to the creature. 3. My foul is content of him for my king ; andthough I cannot be free of fin, God hirnfetf knows he would be welcome to make havockof my lulls, and to make he holy. I know no tuft that I would not be content to part with. My will bound hand and. foot I delire to lay at his feet; and though it will Wive, whether I will or not, I believe whatever God does to me is belt done. 4. Though aflli&ions of themfelves cari be no evidence of the Lord's love yet forafrnuch as the native produél of afflictions and ftrogkes from'the hand of the Lord, is to drive the guilty away from the Lord ; when I find it is not fo with me, but that I am drawn to God by them, made to kifs the rod, and accept of the punithment ofmy iniquity, to love God more, and_ to have more confidence in him, and kindly thoughts of his way, and find my heart more clofely cleaving to him, I cannot but think fúctr an affli&ion an evidence of love. I have met with many troubles, and the affliétions I have met with have been very remarkable in theircircuxnitances. Often have I feen it, and now once more, verified in my lot, 1 Cora iv. 9. " For weare made a fpedtacle to the world, and to angels, and to rnen,g' &c. Now I am as a weaned child, through grace, in the matter., Let the Lord do what feemeth him good. [Nota, I was obliged to leave my horfe behind nie at Penpont under care, ;ind he died.] In the latter end of Auguft, I was at the facrament in A.flikirk, There I preached the fermon, on Saturday, which thould have been ,preached at Penpont. I was helped to deliver it, and I believe it was not without fruit to fome. But after fermons I was bowed down under convictions of the want of that fearof God in my fpirit, when I delivered it, and was vile in mine own eyes. The Lord's day was a good day to me. Hearing Mr Gordon fpeák to hispeople as under apprehenfions of death, and
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