16 MEMOIRS OE PERIOD Ix. fenfe of my own unholinefs, as well as weaknefs for writing, which I was ftruck with at the reading of the Doctor's letters : therefore this day I gave myfelf to prayer and meditation. I found laft night that it was no eafy thing to part with fin ; and this morning the fit impreflìon on my fpirit was that of my utter inability to put away fin. And-I think I never had a more folid and ferious fenfe of . the abfolute need of Chrift for fandtification than this day. I faw it was as eafy for a rock to raife itfelf, as for me to raife my heart from fin to holinefs. I endeavoured to fearch myfelf, renew my repentance, and make confeffion ; and folemnly laid over on the Lord Jefus Chrift all my fins which I knew, and all that I knew not, that his obedience, death, and fufferings, may bear the weight of them for ever. And having further examined myfelf, I renewed my covenant with God, taking God ,in Chrift for my God, the Father of the Lord Jefus Chrift for my Father, the Son for my Redeemer, and the Holy Ghoft for my Sanctifier ; even that one God in three perlons, who is in Chrift reconciling the world to himfelf: taking Chrift himfelffor my Head and Hufband ; renouncing my own wifdom, and taking him for my Prophet, to learnof him, and receive from him, the light of life ; renouncing my own righteoufnefs, and laying the whole ftrefs of my foul on his merits and righteoufnefs, and takinghim for my interceffor and Advocate ; renouncing all my idols, and taking him for my King, and Head of influence for fanetification to my foul: refolving, in his ftrength, hence- forth to hang on him for fanctification, to watch and more nar- rowly to obferve providences, and the way of his dealing with me. Perfonal holinefs was the great thing in my view. After this I let myfelf to cry to the Lord; in refpect of the public, the cafe of the congregation, and my family. Towards the dole of the day, I began to take thought particularly of the matter in hand, and let myfelf to examine myfelf as to the finglenefs of my intentions. I conudered, that if 1 were led by bale ends, it be-. bored to be either worldly profit or a name. As for profit, my confcience bare me witnefs, that I would be content to be a lofer, fo that they might be ferviceable : and as to a name, though at the bar of the law I dare not plead Not guilty, yet at the bar of the gofpel I can appeal to God, that it is not a name to my- 1 lf, but the honour of God that fways with me : And that on thefe grounds : 1. I. donot, nor can I, expect a hame amongft the men of name. Q. The Lord knows 1 could be content to lofe name and credit amongft them, fò that the fermons were úfeful to fore poor fouls. 3. I am confcious to myfelf, that I durit not engage in fuch a bufinefs without an eye to the Lord fpr help; which I could not have for getting myfelf a name, either amongft the learned or unlearned. And upon the ground of my refpect to God's honour, I find in myfelf a difpofition to look to himfelf for his help. Thus I Teemed infenfibly.to flip into what I was inquell of viz. A fenfe of the command of God,
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