NMI 1712. MR THOMAS BOSTON. 217 fuch as might be a foundation of confidence in the Lord for help in the matter. That fenfe of my aiming at God's honour, and thereupon the difpofition to look to him for help, was followed with that word, " Him that honoureth me I will honour :" but I faw little to my purpole in that word. So it colt thoughts of heart, reeking fome word of God that I might found upon in this point, viz. That having fuch rational grounds for the thing itfeif, and being confcious of the finglenefs of my heart therein; I might look for God's help in it. I turned to my ordinary, and there met with Pfal. xliv. 5. 6 ; which though it was of tire to me, yet did not,feem to antwer the point. Afterward that word, 3 Sain. ii. 30. returned with a new light about it, appearing pat to my cafe. I faw that promife particularly directed to priefis in the exercife of their office ; and that the honour there meant is walking before the Lord in the difclaarge of their office : and my foul defired no more, but what is in the compafs of that word. It melted my heart, and I faid I would believe it. If I had had the word a-framing for my cafe, I would have defired no more in the matter fecured to me, than walking before the Lord; as a child before his father. After this, minding to read over what I had marked from the beginning about this bufinefs, together with the letters relative thereto, .I went to God by prayer, for help to make a clear judgment upon the whole. Thereafter I read, firft my own remarks, and then the letters, fò far as they related to that affair. Mr Colden's letter was the laft ; and among the laft words of that part of it, were thefe fol- lowing, viz. ` Let refpeét to duty, and the falvation of perifhing fouls, fway you.' That word, ' perifhing fouls,' nailed my heart; and it burft out, and anfwered, Then let me be a fool for perifhing fouls.' And now for perifhing fouls I dare not but/ try that work, come of me what will. Senfe of duty has now the heels of my inclination. Let the Lord do what feemeth him good as to the ufe of them, whether they be publifhed or not. Bleffed be the Lord, that has thus heard my prayer, and cleared me to put pen to paper. Jan. 24. This day I minded to have put pen to paperin that work ; but laft night a temptation was laid in to me, and increafed this day, fo that I could not purfue my refolution. I faw the necefi'ity of praying, ` Lead us not into temptation ;' was con- vinced that I had let down my watch, and one evil íìill made way for another. Jan. 27. This night theconfiderationof the temptation where- with I have been baffled, was molt (tinging, being fo veryquickly after my folemn covenanting with God. I was made to groan out my cafe, by reafon of a body of fin and death. One thing has ftill been my temptation, and thy heart faid, ' Any way let me be delivered, (only in mercy), though by cold death.' I had been preaching, that the gracious foul could be content with Chrift alone: And it was forme dy to my heart, that I knew the
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