950 MEMOIRS or PERIOD 35. would require a man of another temper. And the firft day of December being the lait day for the oath, after which I could not preach more with the countenance-of authority according to law, I began to be very apprehenfiive, that my work in this` place was near an end. And feveral things concurred to the ftrengthening of it. On the lait Sabbath of November, being the 27th, I fell on that part of the text, namely, preparation for trials, which, though the main thing I had in view when I chofe that text, yet providence kept me off till then, feveral things Coming forth in the breaking, very feafbnable. When I was about to ftudy that fermon, confulting former notes, I was tonne- what moved to find, that was the lait fubjeôt I handled at Simprin before the farewell- fermon. November 8. was the firit diet for examination, which day proved fo ftormy that I could not get out. On the 10th, in another place, I had a diet, where I was attended but with one man, and a few women and children. In other three places after, if was not very much better. ` My wife was much of the fame apprehenfion as I, and obferved that I preached as when I was to leave Simprin. My getting through the ten commands looked like my getting through thofe fubje&s I was on in the lait months I was in that place. And my prefent circumftances anfwered to the uneafinefs I had from neighbours, ere I left that place. What the Lord's defign in thefe things' is, I know not yet r but in my circumftances. they could hardly mifs to make fome impreffion. December 1. being the lait day for taking the oath, I fpent force time in fatting and prayer, I found my courage for fuffering was not filch as on the former,occafion of this oath. Though I could not ward off the thoughts of that forefaid, yet I defiderated fuch an impreffion of the thing as might make me fpeak to them as about to leave them ; therefore I begged to be led of God, whether I faw or not, ashehad led me to my amazement, for tome time part, and lb left it on him. At night my natural fpirits being funk, I was fore broken and difcouraged, feeing the law fo hard upon the one hand, and the parifh on the other. This held me under for three days following. That fame night, I- think, the Lord made my '.wife, being fick, and unable to converfe, to fpeak two words in feafon to me. I told her, that I found I had not courage for fuffering, &c. Her anfwer was, You need it not yet. My heart, faid I, is alienated from this place. She anfwered, It feems there is need for it. This mat- ter of the oath I altogether kept up from the people, looking for no fympathy, by the difcovery of it, but affli&tion upon my affliction, if they fhould know of it, as I got, the laft time I had this trial. Sorne time before the lait facrament, being afked news, I told the elder aforefaid, it was faid the abjuration-oath would be impofed again. His anfwer was, ` I think we mutt even let youall do as ye like, and ftrive to know Chrift and hua
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