264 1VIEMOIRS OP PERIOD X. perfonally the covenant, or covenanting with God ; in'the which the Lord was pleafed fo to blow upon me, that I think, in all my life, 1 never had more, if ever fo much, clear 'and diftin& ùptakings of the gofpel- offer, fhlid, diftina, and heartyaccept- ance of it, and confidence in managing it. I had an unufual view, and in'fome meafure yet have, of God as Creator loving his creatures, and giving his own Son for finners, to bring them to be happy in the enjoyment of himfelf; producing in me con- fidence in, and love to, this bountiful and gracious God. 2. Having fpread the call of Clofeburn before the Lord yefterday, though the fubfcriptions, being 118, did touch me ; yet I could have no view of the matter, but as leaving behind me a broken parifl, and one I mutt be rent from, to go to another broken pariíh, where I mutt expeót but cold entertainment : fo that nothing of a call from God appears to me in it. Otherwife, I was helped to be eafÿ about the matter, having laid it over on the Lord ; and being fomewhat apprehenfive, from the Lord's way of difpenfing his influences to me, that,my trial muft be of another fort, whereby poflìbly I may be laid aude from both. [Nota, This apprehenfion has been fo far verified in the event, that I was delivered from the ftrivings of the people ; by the iffue of the prócefs, from the ftrivings I was to have with the parifh of Clofeburn in the event of a tranfportation ; and by the whole bufinefs from the ftrivings, with my own parith ; which, from that, time, has never been fo unmanageable as before, though I have not wanted trials from particular perfons heavy enough. But have been engaged in ftrivings of a more public nature fence, and in a long and heavy family-AMCtion,' whereof the eighth year is now running, Aug. 28. 1727.. ] 3. I remem- ber not, that ever I had, on an occafion of weight, at the fynod, fo much ado to fix my feet, in point of confidence in the Lord, when praying about the particular, as I had at the fynod laft week in this affair. Some untendernefs in my converfation at home, found me out, and hung about me there ; fo that it colt fore ftruggling. 4. The minute circumftance of the commiflìon, p. 324. has now brought forth a great matter, viz. the carrying the matter of the tranfportation fo as it cannot come before the next general affembly for decifion, though it do otherwife. And though it gó to the commifl'ion, and I fhould be laid under their fentence without light in my own breaft ; I would look on that as a light matter, in comparifon of a fentence of the general affembly in fuch circumftances. I am fully fatisfied in my fol- lowing the conduct of Providence nicely on that littlehead In 9nnis Deus maximus. 5. Sir Thomas Kirkpatrick owned to me at the fynod, that my letters to Mr Murray put him to a ftand, but that he came the fecond time upon hearing that I would be fubmiffive ; though, much I think to theconfounding of us all three, it was owned, that the molt I faid was thefe words, No.lefs will make me to go to Clofeburn, than what would
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