.1729. MR THOMAS BOSTON. 361 of my head, legs, and, I think, my whole body, makes me fomewhat apprehenfive of a fudden dow.nfalling in the pally, which may either carry me off quickly, or make me a heavy time bed-táíì. But I defire ftill to be doing, till my God íha11 bid me ceafe ; leaving thefe and all other events in his hand, whole are all my ways. October 1. Wednefday. On Sabbath laft was ,the facrarnent at Maxton. From the time I heard of it, I had defired of the Lord a meffage for it ; but remained unfixed till the time of letting to. I was under great heavinefs, through various bur- dens lying upon me ; fo that I loft the night's reft, Friday and Saturday was eight days. Whence I was, on the Lord's day, but in ill cafe for my work ; but was honourably carried through. On the Monday therefore I laid afide thoughts of ftudy ; only I fixed on my text, Rom. vi. 6. " Knowing that our old man is crucified with him," &c. ' ; being, as ufual now for Rime years, led thereto for my own cafe. On the Tuefday I begun to Rudy, but prefently ttuck; cut out what I had written, and began a _ fecond time ; but ftuck again : it would not do. That was to me a molt weary day, being deeply plunged, my burdens lying heavy on me, and God deferting me. So being exhaufted, I had thoughts of ufing old notes. Awaking on the morrow, I found my ftrength gone. When I was ready, I juft fat down, for clearing my confcience to ufe old notes, to rrrake a third effay : and fo cut out again, and began a third time, putting pen to paper with altnoft no hope at all of proceeding, or being able to reach it. But it pleafed the Lord to lode my bands in force meafure ; fo I went on : and was enabled alfo to do fomething at night, which now is not ufual with me. That night fleep fled from me again. But necetfity urging, I fell to my ftudies again on the morrow ; but ftuck again, and could not command, what the night before had occurred for explaining our old man's being crucified with Chrift. It pleated the Lord to loofe me a- gain in force tneafure, fó that I had done all before dinner. And the Lord having thus pitied, I grew eafy under my burdens. At Maxton the Lord was very gracious to me. I fleet well the two firft night's. I cried to him that he would help me clearly and diftinétly to utter the myftery, fo as I myfelf might appre- hend it, and the hearers alfo : for I faw, myfelf in hazard ofcon- fufion in it. He gracioufly heard me, and to my own feeling gàve the that requeft. After ferving three tables on the Sabbath, I went away and refrefhed myfelf; returned, and ferved another. But at the clofe of the communion-work, I found myfelf quite exhaufted ; no ftrength left, being to preach the afternoon-fer- mon. I was convinced it was neither meat nordrink that would ftrengthen me ; fo I went in to the barn at the end of the town, a few minutes, and there 1 defired of the Lord ftrength for his The fermons on this text were published in 1755, with force others. Yy2
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