Boston - BX9225 B68 A1 1805

4$ MEMOIRS OP PERIOD, Y. be helped to carry evenly. I cried to the Lord for it ; and got that word, " My grace !hall be fufficient ,for thee." Sabbath morning I found in myfelf agreat defiire to love Chrift, and to be rued folely for his glory ; and prayed to that etlëét, not out foine fuccefs. He got the forenoon, for fo it was defired by them. I was hepled tojoin in prayer, was muchedified both by his feeture and fermon, and I fang with a fweet frame after fermon : yet in the time I was thrice affaulted with the tempta- tion I feared ; but looking up to the Lord, gotit repulfed in (brae meafure ; and found my foul defirous that people should get good, foul-good, of what wasvery ferioufly, pathetically, and jud icioufly Paid to us by the godly young man. Betwixt fermons I got a fight of my own emptinef's, and then prayed and preached in the afternoon with very much help from the Lord. Yet, for all that, I wanted not forne levity of fpirit ; which poifon my heart flicked out of that fweet flower. When I came home, my heart was in a manner enraged.againft my heart on this account, and 1 con- felled it before the Lord, abhorring myfelf, appealing to God's omnifcience, that I would fain have had it otherwife, and would have been heartily content to have fold my own credit in the matter for the glory of Chrift. As I was complaining that Satan had winnowed are, and brought forth much filthy ftufout ofmy heart, notwitltltanding all my prayers, &c. itcame into my mind, how Chrift laid to Peter, " Simon, Satan hath defired to have " thee, that he may fift you as wheat : but I have prayed for " thee, that thy faith fail net ;" and yet Peter denied him, even with oaths, on a very filly temptation. 'Phis was comfortable. Therewerefour things fug efted to me in the morning, as antidotes against the temptation ; whereof this was one, That I was con, fcious to myfelfof my being unwilling toengage with filch a port, in regard of my unfitnefs for it, though they were all willing. In the evening, while I fat muting on what I had been preaching, yiz. That the foul that has got a true difcovery of Chrift will be fatisfied with him alone, I proposed the question to myfelf, Art thou content of Chrift alone? would thou be fatisfied with Chrift as thy portion, tho' there were no hell to bePaved from ? and my foul anfwered, Yes. I alked myself further Suppofing that, wouldft thou be content of him, though likewife thou fhouidit jofecredit and reputation, and meet with trouble for his fake ? :gay foul anfwered,' Yes. Such is my hatred of tin, and my love to Chrift. This was the tali fermon I preached in that place, for I was going out of thatcountry ; and neither of us two was theper- fon God defigned for the place. On the 30th I preached at Dollar. The work being clofed, thinking with myfelf, while yet in the pulpit, that might be the jaft of my preaching there,, as it indeed proved to be, with my eyes lifted up towards heàven, I looked unto the Lord, comfort- ing myfelf, that I had declared to that people. the whole counfel of God, as, he had given it me ; the whichwas fweeter to me than

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