169N MR THOMAS BOSTON. 61 caftoned variety ofperplexing thoughts. . I inquired what might be the Lord's end in it, and nothing doubted but that I yeas Called ,to leave that place, from whence I came. May 2o. in prayer it was fuggefted to me, that God had fo dealt with me, for my former levity, and mifimproving his help given me in preaching ; for which I endeavoured to be humble. On the 26th, I had engaged to le&ure next Sabbath for Mr Colden. Finding my heart difponed for prayer, light from the Lord in two or three particulars was much in my eye. In prayer I had a frame from the Lord; ferious, earneft, depending, bare, and laid open to hearken to the counfel of God. Before I came to pray for what I fhould le&ure on, my heart was railed to an admiration of, and love to Chrift, and defire to commend him ; and it was laid be- fore me as my duty to le&ure on Pfal. xlv. and this with life and elevation of my fpirit, which continued with me when I prayed forthe le&ure. Thinking on this after prayer, I began to fuipett that light'; becaufe it-came before I had/prayed for it, exprefsly at leaft. But confidering that I went to God for light in it, and confidering that paffage, If. lxv. '24. and finding my inclination to commend Chrift remain, I was fatisfied. There was a fecond point in my eye, which ftill remained dark ; and therefore I went back purpofely to God for it. I found my heart in prayer much going out in love to Chrift; my heart was knit to him as the dearly beloved of my foul ; which made me to exprefs my love to Chrift, not in an ordinary way, as I ufe to do. I was helped to depend, and got ítrength to my heart to wait for light in it. And the nature'of it was fuch, that it might bear a delay. As for the third point, it was not ripe, and I could but table it be- fore the Lord. The Lord was not wanting to me in the delivery of that le&ure. In the mean time, my fettling in Simprin had been firft moved to me on May 19. in Mr Colden's houle, by his wife, in his prefence ; and that, till another occafion fhould offer. He feem- ed to me not to have confidence direly to propofe it; but told me, the ftipend was five chalders of vidual, and SO merks. But as I never durft entertain the thoughts of fettling with Inch ade- fign, I Chewed. that I had no mind to engage with any but fuch as I might continue with. Thinking iterwards on thefe things by myfelf, I found no great unwillingnefs to venture on the fti- pend ; the rather, that my father having difponed his intereft in Dunfe to me, I reckoned I would have about L. 100 Scots year- ly there but the people being only about ninety in number, and in aquite other fituation than the parifh of Abbay, I found I could have no heart to them. On the 26th again, Mr Colden pro- pofed to me, that if 1 would fettle there, he would write for that effe& to Langton, to whom the parifh entirely belonged. I told him, that for me to fay fo, would be to cut off all future delibe- ration, which was what I had no freedom to do : the which he acknowledged to be true, and therefore urged me 'not. That
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