52 tiEMOIRB O4" PEI2IOH PL Worthy man Was indeed concerned for me, and told me, he Was perfnaded God had thoughts of good towards the and that, not vvithftanding all the difficulties that had caft up in the way ofmy settlement, the event would be to the glory of God, and com- fortable to myfeif. And therein he was nOt miftaken. In this his concern for the he took me to Coldingharn, June 8. to fee Mr Dyfert, who formerly had been minifter of Langton. There they concerted to move for that lettlement ; and in confequence thereof Mr Dytert wrote to the elders of Simprin, for that efléot. And judging the matter might eafily be cornpaired, they told we that I might be fettled in Simprin, ifI would. But havingheard them fpeak of the vacancies in Galloway, and that I particularly was defired by fome there, I thereupon found an inclination to go to that country, if I fhould not be called back for Dollar. The letter to the elders of Simprin, as aforeíáid, was unadvifedly put in my hand to difpatch ; which I, not having confidence, it feems, to refute it, did receive : but it was never delivered, for afterwards I tore it in pieces. And this their conduct could hardly have had a different iffaei according to the principles by which I fteered my couríe, that juftly made all activity in pro- curing my own fettlement frightful to me. The bent of my heart to preach Chritt continued all along, from the time above mentioned, as I had opportunity : but for a confiderable time I met with many tubs in my way. On the2d ofJune, after prayer for a text, and help to fludy, I could fix on none, though I fought it till my body was weary, and my fpirit much deje&ed. Next morning mydarknefs remained, and nothing could gain clearnefs to me. Thus my heart being de- jeoted through defertion, I went to prayer again ; but my very heart and flefh were like to faint. Such was the grief of my heart, that I could not fpeak a word to God, after I had begun, but groaned to the Lord : I got words again, but was interrupted the fame way, not being able to fpeak. I taw the mifimprove- ment of former help !till to be the caufe of the Lord's pleading with me ; but having fo often confeffed it, being grieved for it, &e. I thought there behoved to be something elfe ; and fome other thing I fufpeóted, but could not fix on it. I thought I was molt unworthy to be a preacher, and that it would be well done to filence me, as ignorant of the myllery of Chritt: for, from the beginning of this exercife, it was always in my heart to preach Chrift, and denying of ourfelves to all things but Chritt ; and though it fucceeded ill with me, I durit not change my pur- pofe. My foul being fomewhat encouraged by thatword, Matth. xi. 28. " Come unto me, all ye that labour, ' &c. I was helped to believe in force meafiare, and converted with God in prayer, and that word was brought to my mind for a text, Pfal. lxxiii. 25. " Whom have l in heaven but thee ?" &c. I had much difficulty in my studies on it. The word read in the ordinary at evening-exercife, came pat to my cafe with a check, lieb. xii. 5.
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