60 MEMOIRS Or PERIOD VI. In the Sabbath morning at Eccles, July16. I was concerned rather about how to preach, than what ; had a profpect of great difficulties in a little to be encountered ; Stenton communion approaching, the bufinefs of Simprin now in motion, and the affair of Dollar in I knew root what ftate,'together with other ftraitening circumttances. Fearing left thefe fhould make a deep mire for me, drove me 'ne'arer to God, fenfible of my need of a token for good from him in fucha fituation. And Iliad Tome help from Cant. viii. 5. " Who is,this that conreth up from the " wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?" and If. 'lxi.'8. " I " will dire9 --their work in truth." I had that day much help, light, and life, in delivering the word ; and myheart was wound up in prayer, elevated, and 'entirely fet on the work.,__ The two Sabbaths immediately preceding, I had in converfe difcovered, in profefbrs of religon, much unacquaintednefs with Chrift, and with their own hearts, . particularly as to the legal bias thereof; which occafoned my preaching the week-day's fermon aforefaid on Deut. ix. 6. And this Sabbath, in converfe with aprofeffor, I fáw the pride of my own heart, the levity of others, with little appearance of the power of religion ; which made me fadly to fear fettling in the Merfe ; where I found I could meet with few exercifed to godlinefs, and made partakers of the knowledge of Chrift. July 22. being at Stenton, and in good cafe fpiritually, by rea- fon of the Lord's helping me toright uptakings of himfetfin fome rneahre, and dealing bountifully withme inprayer, I was attacked with difcouragement upon the profpea of mydiflìculties; which lent me to the Lord, and I got fome help. I heard the fermons pre- paratory for the facrament in Tome good frame: but near the clofe of the laic prayer, thoughts of my difficulties bore in them- felves on me ; which, as they came, I rejected again and.again ; and after thefe repulfes they got, I became more ferious. But Satan was in carnet, would not let me pats fo ; but in came other thoughts, which railed my heart into a violent paflion, and in a ftrange manner I rejected them, repelling one fin with another, wifhing evil to the perf'onof whom I thought. This with carne in molt fuddenly upon me as lightning, and did very much con- fute me, was heavy to me, and marred my confidence with the Lord. So when I came in from the kirk, I was molt ugly and_ hell-hued in my own eyes, and verily believed there was nono fo unworthy as I. Then my heart- monfters, pride, worldly- mindednefs, difcontent, &c. flared me in the face, and my poor heart was overwhelmed with forrow. In the mean time that word, If. xli. 17, 18. " When thepoor and needy feek water," &c. came fweetly to me, andwas a little' fupporting ; butI found it a great difficulty to believe. Being diverted, much of this wore off my fpirit, and a dreadful deadnefs fucceeded. To-mor- row morning I got a revival ; and through the day, for the molt part, it was not very ill. But being to preach without in the
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